Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Shut your Wii hole, Chad!

Meet Chad Sexington:

At least that's what I call him. I chose the male trainer because I didn't want to work out in front of a chick in my current condition.

I HATE this MFer. If you have a Wii Fit, I'm sure you know what I mean. I hate his stupid pony tail, and I hate his biketardy outfit. This A-hole actually called in sick once and I had to workout with the female trainer. "Your regular triner couldn't make it today, so I'll be filling in for him," she said. WTF?!? What did he have, a dentist appointment? A funeral to attend? Anonymous gay sex date at an internet superhighway rest stop?

Anyway, Chad is a total douche. Yes, Chad, I am a bit shaky...maybe because you've got me standing tip-toe on one leg, balancing a ball on my nose like a fucking trained seal. And seriously, I don't need to hear that the exercise I'm doing is popular because it helps you tone your upper arm like 5 times over the course of a 60 second workout.

I usually do pretty well until he starts yapping at me. I swear to god, I'm gonna chop that douchey little ponytail right off your smug, symmetrical head.

I actually have lost a couple pounds over the past couple of weeks. I'm sure it has more to do with the fact that I am now avoiding excessive snacking because I don't want my video game ridiculing me than it has to do with any physical benefit from the workouts.

I love my goddamn Wii Fit...

Listening to: Sonic Youth - Bull in the Heather
via FoxyTunes

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Friday, January 02, 2009

Last Freakin' Minute FRE

Sweet merciful crap! I totally forgot the FRE until just this minute. No time for chit-chat, I'm up against a deadline here.

1) Jesus Lizard - Blue Shot.
OK, these guys are freakin' weird, but I really like some of the inventive chord structures.

2) Atmosphere - You.
These guys are freakin' awesome, a local act that makes up part of the Rhymesayers Collective (warning: link NSFW!).

3) Bjork - Human Behaviour.
Bjork is teh freakin' awesome! I read recently that she's starting a foundation to supply seed money to Icelandic entrepreneurs. OMG! - I spelled entrepreneurs right the first time!!!

4) The National - Fake Empire.
Meh. Freakin' meh!

5) Morphine - Sharks.
Dirty, jazzy blues at it's freakin' baddest.

6) Findlay Brown - Seperated By The Sea.
Pretty freakin' good for a free iTunes download.

7) PJ Harvey - Hair.
PJ Freakin' Harvey! She so kicks ass. She reinvents herself like Madonna, but she doesn't Madonna.

8) Sleater-Kinney - Get Up.
Man, do I have freakin' great musical taste or what? Sleater-Kinney is one of the most underrated bands in recent times, and I supoose that might be why I love them so.

9) Tori Amos - Putting the Damage On.
Boys for Pele is a freakin' great album (in fact, Tori's last great album), but the title puts distirbing imagery of world-renowned footballers touching little children imappropriately.

10) Fiona Apple - Limp.
I'm starting to see a freakin' pattern in musical artists here...

11) 7 Year Bitch - Whoopie Cat.
Another Seattle band from the freakin' 90s. Not too bad though.

Well, it's a little late, but it's still Friday. Have a freakin' sweet weekend!

Listening to: Barbara Manning And The San Francisco Seals - Joed Out
via FoxyTunes

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