Shut your Wii hole, Chad!

Meet Chad Sexington:



At least that's what I call him. I chose the male trainer because I didn't want to work out in front of a chick in my current condition.

I HATE this MFer. If you have a Wii Fit, I'm sure you know what I mean. I hate his stupid pony tail, and I hate his biketardy outfit. This A-hole actually called in sick once and I had to workout with the female trainer. "Your regular triner couldn't make it today, so I'll be filling in for him," she said. WTF?!? What did he have, a dentist appointment? A funeral to attend? Anonymous gay sex date at an internet superhighway rest stop?

Anyway, Chad is a total douche. Yes, Chad, I am a bit shaky...maybe because you've got me standing tip-toe on one leg, balancing a ball on my nose like a fucking trained seal. And seriously, I don't need to hear that the exercise I'm doing is popular because it helps you tone your upper arm like 5 times over the course of a 60 second workout.

I usually do pretty well until he starts yapping at me. I swear to god, I'm gonna chop that douchey little ponytail right off your smug, symmetrical head.


I actually have lost a couple pounds over the past couple of weeks. I'm sure it has more to do with the fact that I am now avoiding excessive snacking because I don't want my video game ridiculing me than it has to do with any physical benefit from the workouts.

I love my goddamn Wii Fit...


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Listening to: Sonic Youth - Bull in the Heather
via FoxyTunes