Friday, November 30, 2007

Friday random ten feat. Words I Hate

Of all the words in the American lexicon, the one I hate most would have to be "consumer". Let's get this straight, all you corporate fat-cats: I take great pride in the fact that I don't define my life based on the mindless intake and depletion of resources. Steve Jobs refers to iTunes users as "music consumers", which drives me up the effin' wall. I do not "consume" music - I "enjoy" music, it "enriches my life experience".

Hell, even organizations such as NPR refer to their listeners as "news consumers"...what the hell is wrong with "listeners"? Or, heaven forbid, "citizens interested in substantive issues that affect society as a whole"? You know who has "news consumers"? Faux News, that's who - and I'd appreciate it if I weren't grouped in with that lot.

Anyway, on with the FRT:

1. Sleater-Kinney - Heart Factory.

Cool...this song fits well with the theme of anti-mindless consumption screeds I started off with. On the subject of S-K, check out this video Carrie Brownstein did with Fred Armisen called "This Is Nice"'s nice!

2. Hum - Stars.

This wonderful song is currently being raped and left for dead all in the name of "growing the brand" for Cadillac.

3. Nirvana - On A Plain.

In my opinion, the best song on Nevermind. As opposed to the song that dragged them reluctantly into the old main stream, "Smells Like Teen Spirit", which is probably the song that holds up the worst on the entire album.

It's safe to say don't quote me on that.

4. Coldplay - Trouble.

Well, there it is...not much to say about this one. Let's just move forward to the next song...which reminds me: it's "for-ward", not "fo-wad". If I hear the phrase "moving fowad" one more time, things will happen.

Oh, things will happen.

5. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know.

Not a huge Keane fan, but for some reason this one strikes a chord with me. Needs a nice, Bohemian Rhapsody-esque gong at the end, though.

6. Bjork - Venus As A Boy.

I like her fuzzy sweater on the album cover. There's just no substitute for Icelandic wool.

I hear their hot dogs are good too.

7. Beck - Burnt Orange Peel.

Soon after I heard this CD, I called it the most important American album in the last ten years. I'm backing away slightly from that statement now that my initial infatuation with it is over, but I'd still say everyone really ought to give this CD a listen.

8. Breeders - Drivin' On 9.

I wish the Muppet Show was still on back when Last Splash came out. They totally could have done this song on a rural highway set with frogs and bears and all kinds of crazy, fuzzy shit.

9. Pixies - Holiday Song.

Oooh - Sort of a twofer. And it's not even Tuesday! When I'm king, the classic rock DJs will be the first ones against the wall.

10. Dead Souls - Nine Inch Nails.

A Joy Division cover. Better than the original, I'd say, although I'm not a big JD fan, so take that with a grain of salt.

I hope this post has provided a "synergizing", "paradigm-shifting" experience for all of you "blog consumers". In an effort to give you a "value-added, interactive experience", I'll include this link to the industry buzzword generator. If you hear any douchebags uttering the phrases it might generate, let me know and I'll add them to my "Against the Wall" list.

Now playing: Radiohead - 15 Steps
via FoxyTunes


Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I'm still alive...

...but oh so busy.

In an effort to get everyone up to date, here's what's happened since my last post:

*I ordered and received PJ Harvey's new CD White Chalk, which I recommend everyone give a listen to because she's so awesome. I 'm definitely going to give it a thorough review next week.

*I finally settled on a price and downloaded In Rainbows, which I also plan to review in my unique style of malapropisms and stolen material that is just obscure enough that most people, hopefully, won't realize it's stolen.

*I had Thanksgiving at my in-laws, which was pretty good...except for the fact that one of the few things my father-in-law have in common are that we like to watch football, but he spent most of the weekend watching from the comfort of his bed...and, although it's plenty big and soft enough, I'm still very uncomfortable lounging around in a bed with another man. Makes the awkward silences we often share just that much more awkward.

*The Eagles were reunited on stage at the Country Music Awards (honestly, they'll give away awards for anything these days) ...right where they belong. I am strictly in camp with The Dude on this subject (WARNING: NSFW!):

The Dude abides...

Now playing: Sleater-Kinney - Turn It On
via FoxyTunes


Friday, November 16, 2007

Friday Random ten: They're tryin' to make me go to rehab, I said No, No...well, on second thought...

Yeah, I know...I'm as surprised as you are. I'm actually getting this post done almost on schedule. Sure, it's a little late in the day, but did you really expect any better. Are you foolish enough to think you'd get anything more than subpar performance?

If so, why don't you just head down to an Amy Winehouse concert and try your luck there.

1. Beastie Boys - Shadrach.

Wow...the Bible has really come to life for me. Thanks King Ad-Rock!

2. Morphine - Cure For Pain.

What came first, drugs or pain?

Pain, you idiot!

3. Weezer -Say It Ain't So.

Some sort of ode to "Shoeless" Joe Jackson. Stop watching Field of Dreams, guys.

Just kidding. This is one of the better songs off of a great album.

4. Radiohead - Airbag.

Well, I finally downloaded In Rainbows last night, eventually settling on 3 Pound British (I think that comes out to around $8). I'll be giving a review soon, if anyone cares. Right now I'll tell you that it's good, but it's no OK Computer. Whihch I suppose is like looking at a Michelangelo sculpture and saying "'s no 'David'...".

Is it just me, or does the word "David" look sort effed up when you look at it for a while?

5. Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up To Dry.

Free iTunes download...better than most. Usually with the freebies, I'll download 'em and forget about them until the come up on shuffle a few months later, at which time I think, "Why the hell is this fouling up the bobPod?!?"

That doesn't happen with this song, which I guess is some timid testimonial to its non-suckiness.

6. Jimi Hendrix - Manic Depression.

Did you know you can get a contact high just from listening to this song? It's true. Former Rhodes Scholar Keanu Reeves heard this song once, and he's never been the same.

7. White Stripes - St. Andrews (The Battle Is In The Air)

Speaking of songs that make you wonder if you're high, Meg seems to narrating some sort of fever hallucination within this fury of swirling bagpipes. We've got a piper down!!!

8. Nirvana - Verse, Chorus, Verse

Aka "Sappy", a mournful ode to those who've given up their dreams for the security of domesticity in the suburbs. Excellent use of metaphor here.

9. Charles Mingus - When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.

Jazzy! Bleeding Gums Murphy would approve.

10. Outkast - Hey ya!

I'ma go pull down the shades and dance my fool white arse off.

Now playing: Velvet Revolver - Fall to Pieces
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Your Mid-Writer's Strike Daily Show Fix

OK, fellas, stick it to The Man:

You're welcome!

Now playing: Sleater-Kinney - Jumpers
via FoxyTunes


Thursday, November 01, 2007

What's good for Fred Sanford is good for America

Way back in 2003, the Preznit hisself came to our town. He gave a speech on the growing economic vitality in our area which was so obviously spurned on by his brilliant financial strategery. He delivered this speech, with, I'm sure, no sense of irony, right in front of a non-profit, second-hand store.

A speech on how secure we are financially.

In front of a fucking Goodwill.


It is, I'm sure, no coincidence that there has been a rise in the number of songs regarding back-alley free enterprise - dark places where the invisible hand of the market is doing things you don't want to know about with god-knows-who. Songs like Rag and Bone, by the White Stripes, and this number*:

Times are tough...I can't even afford to pay attention. Yeah, they're rough all right. It's gotten so bad that I don't even have a pot to piss in anymore. Things are rough, I tell ya, rough. I've even had to resort to stealing other people's shtick.

*the album version of this song is much better, but I'm a lazy, lazy man. Far too lazy to search all over the youtube for the album version. Lazy, you ain't kidding. I'm like a rug on valium. I'm so lazy I took lessons on a player piano.

Lazy, I tell ya.