"Wasted away again in Margaritaville, looking for my lost shaker of salt....oh, here it is!"

Man oh man do I hate Jimmy Buffet. How can you hate Jimmy Buffet? people often ask me, his song are so fun! I don't know...maybe I was dragged along by my dad to one too many company mixers where I had to watch as all the old white people got drunk, danced around (like white people), and sang along to songs from this slouch. Maybe it's the remarkably racist and sexist things I overheard at these little shindigs that left the bad taste in my mouth that I forever associate with this hack.

How can I hate Jimmy Buffet indeed...he's like Raffi for yuppies, that's how! I imagine his songwriting process goes something like:

Man, do I have a hangover. Well, a little hair of the dog ought to clear that up. Ugh...I was soooo wasted away last night...oh my sweet jesus, wouldja look at that! It's really disturbing to see that in the bed. Why do all my groupies have to be so pink, fat, and over 40? Oh well, I suppose it's my own damn fault. Anyhoo, back to that hair of the dog. Now where the hell is that salt shaker...holy shit, I should be writing this shit down. It's gold, baby, GOLD!

That's why I was so surprised to hear about the sudden turn in his career.