Music For Dumbasses

YACHT for you!

2009-06-02T22:13:00.002-05:00

I found this. I like it. Thought you might too. Must not use complete sentences!

Warning: F-Bomb at end of video!!!

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Listening to: Sigur Ros - Gobbledigook
via FoxyTunes

Auto tune is the devil's voicebox

2009-05-30T21:08:00.002-05:00

Yeah, yeah; I know it's been a while. I'm saying this, of course, to my conscience, as he's the only one who checks in here on a regular basis.

Good stuff...

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Listening to: Julian Plenti - Fun That We Have
via FoxyTunes

Alice In Wonderland? Must be a rip off of that "Alice In Underpants" movie I saw

2009-05-08T01:32:00.005-05:00

Try to watch this for less than half an hour.

Impossible.

And because I love you, here's where you can download the song for free, just like Sideshow Bob did!

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Listening to: Mogwai - Time and A Half
via FoxyTunes

11th Hour FRE

2009-04-10T22:23:00.003-05:00

No time for a rambling preamble, let's get to the music:

1) Sting Me - The Black Crowes.
Generally, not a fan of this genre, but I think these guys bring something original and inventive to the table.

2) The Man In Me - Bob Dylan.
AKA "That song from The Big Lebowski where he flies through the air". I can enjoy this song without its association with that excellent film, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't add a little extra something to the experience.

3) St. James Infirmary Blues - The White Stripes.
I love the White Stripes...they just sound like they're having fun.

4) Slainte - Mutefish.
This is from a CD that Sy and I bought from a band we saw performing on the street in Galway, Ireland. These guys rock!

5) My Name Is Jonas - Weezer.
The foreman has injured his hand!

6) (New Wave) Polly - Nirvana.
I love old school Nirvana. Wish I'd seen them live.

7) Letting You - NIN.
I got this via free download. I like what he's doing lately, but I think Trent Reznor needs to calm down about Radiohead.

8) We Were Born the Mutants Again With Leafling - Of Montreal.
I really don't like these guys, but I really love this song.

9) Nude - Radiohead.
Spooky! See #7 above. I love these guys even more because they totally ignored Miley Cirus.

10) Roar Roar Roar - Bodies of Water.
I just got this a few days ago. Kinda reminds me of the songs from Juno. Pretty good stuff, a little pretentious.

11) I Hate Myself and I Want To Die - Nirvana.
Love it...more old Nirvana. Good one to end on.

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Listening to: Rage Against The Machine - Down Rodeo
via FoxyTunes

Cuz I'm a Cool Nerd God, yes I am!

2009-04-05T13:38:00.000-05:00

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Listening to: Smashing Pumpkins - Hummer
via FoxyTunes

Has it really been a month?

2009-03-29T00:15:00.000-05:00

Well, actually, no. Several weeks though...not good. Let's see - what to write, what to write, what...

I know! Covers! About 95% of them are crap. There's only one reason for a band to do a cover: if they can bring a fresh, different interpretation of their own to the song. I'm bringing this up because I just today heard two covers; one of "Stand By Me" performed by John Lennon, and another of "That's When I Reach For My Revolver", performed by Moby. I like John, and I like Moby, but these are song that were done right the first time. No need to mess about with these songs. These guys have more than enough talent and creativity to either come up with a song that needs to be redone ("Voices Carry", for example), or just to come up with an original of their own.

One notable exception to this rule of covers applies to live performances - if you can perform a true and faithful reproduction live, then fine, go ahead. One performance that comes to mind is 10,000 Maniacs doing "Because the Night" on MTV Unplugged (pulled from YouTube...grrrrr!!!).

Once again, just to make it clear...

Good:

Transcendant:

Bad. Really, really, really bad:

Effing Olsen twins...

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Listening to: Dinosaur Jr. - Start Choppin (LP Version)
via FoxyTunes

Yeah...I do happen to like Beethoven.

2009-03-05T21:47:00.002-06:00

I knew it! I could pretty much have told you all of this. Especially the part about country trending towards the left side of the graph.

Click it to make it bigger (that's what she said).

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Listening to: Ludwig Van Beethoven - Symphony No. 5, 1st Mvt.
via FoxyTunes

Friday Random Eleven - Too much 90's?

2009-02-27T23:08:00.001-06:00

It appears I have to get more new music. Or older music...

1) 24,900 Miles Per Hour - 7 Year Bitch.
One of those Seattle bands the industry drug (dragged?) up in the 90's. Coincidentally, Marge and Homer are telling the story of how they got through the 90's. Pretty lame, actually.

2)Black Hole - Beck.
I love this song, except the last 2 minutes of wacky laser sounds make me feel like my guts are turning inside out. Subsequently, although I listen to this song a lot, iTunes shows zero plays.

3)Big Long Now - Nirvana.
Funny, Homer is dressed up as Kurt Cobain. Love the old stuff.

4)Stumbleine - Smashing Pumpkins.
Holy crap...all 90's far.

5)My Doorbell - White Stripes.
Finally, something from this century. Some people think Meg is not a good drummer. These people are jealous wankers.

6)Alone I Break - Korn.
I like these guys...not sure why. Maybe because they were on South Park?

7)Evil - Interpol.
In general, I am not all that big on Interpol. I really like this song, though.

8)Something Against You - Pixies.
Back in the 90's again. Totally worth it. This song, hell, all of Surfer Rosa, is sublimely, insanely awesome.

9)Earthcrosser - Veruca Salt.
They're more than just "Seether". I'm still looking for their Blow It Out Your Ass EP. Lemme know if you find one.

10)Septopus Theme - Brendan Small (Home Movies).
Beware the might Septopus!

11)Snake - PJ Harvey.
I going out rocking. Hard. Teh awesome!

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Listening to: Porno For Pyros - Pets
via FoxyTunes

FRE - At Last!

2009-02-20T10:45:00.001-06:00

You would think that I could manage to post at least once a week, given that I really don't even have to think about material. But Lord, it is a struggle. Enjoy!

1)Asshole - Denis Leary.
Just downloaded this last week. Now I have two songs entitled "Asshole". Sweet!

2)Plateau - Nirvana (Unplugged).
I love the beginning of this song, with all the posers apprehensively clapping because they have no idea hat the song is, but don't want to let anyone know.

3)Symphony No. 5, 1st Mvt. - Beethoven.
I've heard that the letter V in Morse code is "dot dot dot dash" because of the beginning of this song.

4)Sheela Na Gig - PJ Harvey.

5)Your Woman - White Town.
Meh.

6)Where Is My Mind? - Pixies.
Surfer Rosa - now that's an album. In my head right now, I sound like Larry King. Sorry about that.

7)Sister Rosetta - Noisettes.
Free from iTunes. Thanks Steve!

8)Ring Finger - NIN.
I awalys thought this was a strange coda to Pretty Hate Machine. Didn't really fit in with the rest of the album.

9)Verdi Cries - 10,000 Maniacs.
Goddamn but I love this song. In fact, I shall listen to the whole thing right now. Discuss among yourselves.

10) Man-Size - PJ Harvey.
All right - 2 Peej songs in one FRE. I truly am blessed.

11)Fake Empire - The National.
Well, that took all the wind out of my sails. I think I'm off to bed now. Night night!

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Listening to: Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Bring It On
via FoxyTunes

Friday Random Eleven

2009-02-13T10:29:00.003-06:00

Boy oh boy - I gots me some fresh downloads this week, so here's hoping one or more of them come up!

1)The New Style - Beastie Boys.
God help me, I like these guys. This one is short and sweet, and off of the "No Alternative" CD, so it's better than the one on "Licensed To Ill".

2)Life Wasted - Pearl Jam.
I used to know a girl who had a stalker-style crush on Eddie Vedder. Last I heard she was a practicing lesbian...I'm not sure what, if anything, that means.

3)The Guide - Borne.
Free on iTunes...not sure I got my money's worth.

4)Drivin' on 9 - The Breeders.
It just goes to show the sorry state of country music that the best country songs in the past couple of decades have been written by Kim Deal and Beck ("Rowboat").

5)Do You Realize? - Flaming Lips.
My favorite part of the movie 50 First Dates is the part where this song plays just seconds before the car crash. It was a little flash of high art...in an Adam Sandler film?!?

6)Drain You - Nirvana.
The production on Nevermind is among the best I've ever heard. There is not a weak song on the album; it's one of the best ever.

7)Freight Trane - John Coltrane.
Man, did white people ruin jazz or what?

8)50 Foot Queenie - PJ Harvey.
She is crazy...which is probably why she's so damn awesome.

9)I've Seen the Land Beyond - Beck.

OK, this is actually more folk than country, but this song still speaks to the point I made earlier.

10)Alala - CSS.

I hear these guys all the time now - iPod commercials and movie trailers. And the video is awesome.

11)One Beat - Sleater-Kinney.

Great song. Here's what Carrie Brownstein has been up to since the band's gone on indefinite hiatus.

Well, none of my new downloads came up today...I guess maybe I'll have to do a special post about them later. Or not. We'll see.

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Listening to: Limblifter - Cordova
via FoxyTunes

Why so serious, son?

2009-02-07T20:24:00.003-06:00

This must be his secret to the Batman voice...scream at the help until you're effing raw!

NSFW!!

You can download this song for free here.

You're welcome!

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Listening to: CSS - Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above
via FoxyTunes

Shut your Wii hole, Chad!

2009-01-07T21:33:00.006-06:00

Meet Chad Sexington:

At least that's what I call him. I chose the male trainer because I didn't want to work out in front of a chick in my current condition.

I HATE this MFer. If you have a Wii Fit, I'm sure you know what I mean. I hate his stupid pony tail, and I hate his biketardy outfit. This A-hole actually called in sick once and I had to workout with the female trainer. "Your regular triner couldn't make it today, so I'll be filling in for him," she said. WTF?!? What did he have, a dentist appointment? A funeral to attend? Anonymous gay sex date at an internet superhighway rest stop?

Anyway, Chad is a total douche. Yes, Chad, I am a bit shaky...maybe because you've got me standing tip-toe on one leg, balancing a ball on my nose like a fucking trained seal. And seriously, I don't need to hear that the exercise I'm doing is popular because it helps you tone your upper arm like 5 times over the course of a 60 second workout.

I usually do pretty well until he starts yapping at me. I swear to god, I'm gonna chop that douchey little ponytail right off your smug, symmetrical head.

I actually have lost a couple pounds over the past couple of weeks. I'm sure it has more to do with the fact that I am now avoiding excessive snacking because I don't want my video game ridiculing me than it has to do with any physical benefit from the workouts.

I love my goddamn Wii Fit...

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Listening to: Sonic Youth - Bull in the Heather
via FoxyTunes

Last Freakin' Minute FRE

2009-01-02T21:01:00.003-06:00

Sweet merciful crap! I totally forgot the FRE until just this minute. No time for chit-chat, I'm up against a deadline here.

1) Jesus Lizard - Blue Shot.
OK, these guys are freakin' weird, but I really like some of the inventive chord structures.

2) Atmosphere - You.
These guys are freakin' awesome, a local act that makes up part of the Rhymesayers Collective (warning: link NSFW!).

3) Bjork - Human Behaviour.
Bjork is teh freakin' awesome! I read recently that she's starting a foundation to supply seed money to Icelandic entrepreneurs. OMG! - I spelled entrepreneurs right the first time!!!

4) The National - Fake Empire.
Meh. Freakin' meh!

5) Morphine - Sharks.
Dirty, jazzy blues at it's freakin' baddest.

6) Findlay Brown - Seperated By The Sea.
Pretty freakin' good for a free iTunes download.

7) PJ Harvey - Hair.
PJ Freakin' Harvey! She so kicks ass. She reinvents herself like Madonna, but she doesn't suck...like Madonna.

8) Sleater-Kinney - Get Up.
Man, do I have freakin' great musical taste or what? Sleater-Kinney is one of the most underrated bands in recent times, and I supoose that might be why I love them so.

9) Tori Amos - Putting the Damage On.
Boys for Pele is a freakin' great album (in fact, Tori's last great album), but the title puts distirbing imagery of world-renowned footballers touching little children imappropriately.

10) Fiona Apple - Limp.
I'm starting to see a freakin' pattern in musical artists here...

11) 7 Year Bitch - Whoopie Cat.
Another Seattle band from the freakin' 90s. Not too bad though.

Well, it's a little late, but it's still Friday. Have a freakin' sweet weekend!

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Listening to: Barbara Manning And The San Francisco Seals - Joed Out
via FoxyTunes

Happy X-Mess!

2008-12-25T06:54:00.000-06:00

Remember to be nice to everyone today...or the Baby Jesus gets it!

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Listening to: Gustav Holst - Mars
via FoxyTunes

AN ATHEIST OF SORTS

2008-12-24T09:17:00.000-06:00

'Tis the season, the season I affectionately refer to as "X-Mess". A time of panic, of violence in suburban malls, of depression, of religious extremists ranting endlessly about how the fact that other beliefs are tolerated during this time of year makes the Baby Jesus cry.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

For a while, probably from my early teens up to a few years ago, my feeling towards this season wobbled between indifference to outright hostility. I was at times disgusted by the displays of greed and patronizing lip service to the religious symbolism of Christmastime.

Then I found Jesus.

Just kidding!

Actually, what turned my feeling towards the holidays around is a tradition we adopted several years back. Sy and I realized that it was silly to buy each other a bunch of presents every Christmas. After all, we could pretty much afford to buy anything we really wanted at any time - why not give to people who don't enjoy that luxury?

We usually go and buy toys to donate to Toys For Tots, as well as going to the supermarket to buy some stuff for the food shelf. This actually makes me feel all warm and fuzzy about this time of year. I think that this is a great way to celebrate with, as well as pass on our values to, our son. Plus, it helps me take on this smug air towards all you miscreants who are reading this right now!

Now, when jerk-asses cut me off recklessly in traffic because they're all stressed out from trekking endlessly from mall to mall, I don't swear nearly as much. I barely even wish death upon them. And if Jesus has a problem with the way I spend his birthday, he can take it up with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. But I'm pretty sure Jesus would be OK with this.

Have a wonderful holiday, everybody, whatever it is you do. And may His Noodly Appendage embrace you this season!

Yep, another damn BFF post

2008-12-23T07:00:00.000-06:00

I just found this on YouTube...maybe you've heard of it?

This little video captures perfectly everything I love about Best Friends Forever: the experimentation, the energy, the irreverence.

I gotta email these guys about playing our garden party ASAP!

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Listening to: Flight of the Conchords - Business Time
via FoxyTunes

FRE - Bold New Adventures In Obsolescence and Futilty

2008-12-19T21:37:00.002-06:00

I would be remiss, as I bloviate across the empty vacuum of this far-flung arm of the blogosphere, if I did not, among other things, such as, in the interest of full disclosure, admitting that I've just absolutely lost control of this sentence, point out the little music player on my sidebar over there. Give it a listen, won't you?

Great...now let's get on with the FRE while it's still Friday, shall we?

1) Shiver - Coldplay.
I really can't abide what's become of Coldplay since this album.

2) Somewhere Only We Know - Keane.
I like this song, but it just needs a big "gong" at the very end. That'd be sweet!

3) Victory - PJ Harvey.
Love me some Peej! She's a real artist, growing through her medium. Great stuff.

4) Question! - System of a Down.
If a song has an exclaimation point in it, it's good. That's just the way it is.

5) Satchel Mouth - Balloon Guy.
Ooo...look at me! I'm supporting local music!
This is pretty good, actually.

6) Fake Pastic Trees - Radiohead.
You could really tell they were about to do something big when The Bends came out after Pablo Honey.

7) Been A Son - Nirvana.
Old school Nirvana is the best-school Nirvana.

8) Ghost Song - Best Friends Forever.
The one time I saw BFF in concert, we only got like two and a half songs out of them before the equipment crapped out, but it was awesome. This was the one of the two songs I heard all the way through, and it echoed surrealistically off of the brick facade of the Bell Museum.

It was fucking awesome.

This video doesn't do it justice, but check out their stuff.

9) Cannon Ball - The Breeders.
Who doesn't like this song? Show me one person - I will personally spit upon them!

10) Would? - Alice in Chains.
OK, we're going a little early 90's here. Let's see if we can turn it around on #11.

11) Fuck and Run - Liz Phair.
Nope, I we couldn't turn it around. That's OK though - I like this song...except the part where she goes, "Fuck and run, even when I was seventeen, fuck and run, even when I was twelve."

Twelve?!? WTF!

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Listening to: PJ Harvey - Rid Of Me
via FoxyTunes

What was that cool song I heard on that commercial?

2008-12-16T09:37:00.001-06:00

What's that song on the Adidas commercial? The one with Kevin "The Kid" Garnett, Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliot, David "Bend It Like" Beckham, Katy "My Song Might Have Been Considered Edgy If I'd Released It, Oh, Maybe A Few Years Before I Was Even Born" Perry, and all the others?

What is that song? Here you go, "Beggin'", by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons:

Who knew Frankie Valli was so cool?

Oh, by the way...

You're Welcome!
/condescension

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Listening to: Nitzer Ebb - Control I'm Here
via FoxyTunes

The gayest FRE of the year

2008-12-12T00:01:00.000-06:00

The new issue of Newsweek has a great article about the religious case for endorsing gay marriage. I do find it fascinating how the Fundies can get so hung up on an obscure quote that describes homosexuality (as well as shellfish) as an abomination, and yet somehow completely gloss over the whole overarching "be good to other people" and "don't judge other people" theme of the Good Book.

Now, internet dating isn't something one would generally associate with fundamental Christian values, but one man has created an unholy amalgam of technology and repressed sexual tension: eHarmony.com, which I'm sure everyone here has heard of. eHarmony.com does not accept gay people, which is why it's so fun to make fun of it:

see more pwn and owned pictures

Here'e the FRE for this week. Let's have a gay old time:

1) Army of Me - Bjork.
This takes me back. I listened to this song while walking along a glacier in an Icelandic national park. So sweet!

2) Memorabilia - Nine Inch Nails.
I'm pretty sure the only reason I have this on the bobPod is just because of it's obscurity Q rating.

3) Beercan - Beck.
Off of Mellow Gold, which sounds like one of those "Sessions" records, which is awesome. You remember "Sessions Presents...", don'tcha?

4) Song 2 - Blur.
One word: Woo-hoo. Or wait, two words? I think it's one. Oh well, the song is over before you have the chance to think it through.

5) Eisenhower Is the Father of the Interstate Highway System - BFF.
If all goes as planned, I'll get these guys to play at our garden party this summer!

6) An Ode To No One - Smashing Pumpkins.
Does anyone release double albums anymore? Oh wait, I guess the Chili Peppers did a year or two ago...nevermind.

7) It's Enough -Sleater-Kinney.
Rocks! But are they queercore. Google says...maybe.

8) Dam That River - Alice In Chains.
I just had to turn up the volume a little.
To eleven.

9) Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - They Might Be Giants.
Ever wonder where this song comes from? Here you go:

10) Just You Just Me - John Coltrane.
Sy looked at me funny the other day when I had Miles Davis playing. "You don't like jazz," she said, sexily accusingly. Do so, I countered. I just don't like white people jazz; it's too gay.

11) For Us - Pete Yorn.
Can't get enough of this song. I'm totally going to hit the back button when it's done.

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Listening to: Pete Yorn - For Us
via FoxyTunes

Return of the FRE, powered by Guinness

2008-12-05T12:42:00.000-06:00

Allow me to start out this music-related post on a more, erm - beery note.

Actual Irish Guinness!

For dinner this evening I had a small pizza and a Guinness. I never had a Guinness before I went overseas this summer. I had my first one in the Galway, in Real Ireland. Part of me wants to kick myself for denying myself this by far best beer I've ever had for my entire life, and part of me is glad I remained Guinnesselibate until I was actually in Ireland.

One of my simple pleasures is listening to music after a couple of drinks, so let's get started!

1) "Don't Let Him Waste Your Time" - Jarvis Cocker.
I'm not sure why, but I dig this song. I first heard it on The Current's "Song of the Day", and I found myself hitting "repeat", well, repeatedly.

2) "All Your Way" - Morphine.
Mmmmm...good, dirty, jazzy.

3) "Beside You In Time" - NIN.
With Teeth. I recommend it.

4) "Airbag" - Radiohead.
Another great album. I got into a very serious debate (OK, I was actually yelling at my car radio) not so long ago about whether the advent of downloadable MP3s spelt the death of the album. I argued (yelled) that as long as there are people who view music as art, the album will be around. The radio was a jerk the whole time.

5) "Satan Gave Me a Taco" - Beck.
My favorite Scientologist! Singing about smoking heroin!

6) "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life" - Monty Python.

7) "Sabotage" - Beastie Boys.
My browser spellcheck does not consider "Beastie" a legitimate word.

8) "So What" - Miles Davis.
This is a earlier, faster version of the song that eventually appeared on Kind of Blue. It is not as good, so I'll let you hear the good, Kind of Blue version here. About 10 minutes long, but totally worth it.

9) "Wandering Star" - Portishead.
Not a big fan of Portishead's newest album...maybe I just need to listen to it more?

10) "Get Up" - Sleater-Kinney.
From The Hot Rock. I just noticed that the bobPod has mistakenly listed this song as being from All Hands On the Bad One, which is a fantastic album title. The best Sleater-Kinney album, however, is The Woods. Now you know. And now I have to fix that glitch.

11) "Sliver" - Nirvana.
In the interest of full disclosure, the eleventh song on these lists is always pre-approved, not random like the others. This time, however, I lucked out and this was an actual random song. I LOVE this song.

That went down smooth - like the nectar of the gods.
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Listening to: Björk - Human Behavior
via FoxyTunes

Democracy? In China? That'll never work...

2008-11-22T18:59:00.000-06:00

Damn, never thought I'd see the day. Chinese Democracy will be a reality in just a couple of hours. I, myself, have heard only one track, but if that song is representative of the rest on the album, then I hope the world will join me in giving Axl and the boys a heartfelt, "Over a decade? For that?!?"

This album has been in the works since, like, around 1994 or so, and has faced numerous delays. Here, then, I present a (partial) list of things that took less time (or at least seemed to) than it took for Guns 'n' Roses to release Chinese Democracy:

*Tolstoy writes War and Peace

*Disco born, dies

*Liquor in U.S. outlawed, re-legalized

*WWI and WW2 fought to completion

*Wars waged against Iraq by two different men named George Bush

*Black man elected President of United States

*Triassic Period

Make sure to go to drpepper.com on Sunday to download your free Dr. Pepper coupon. Nice to know that some CEOs are men of their words...

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Listening to: Velvet Revolver - Fall to Pieces
via FoxyTunes

And the day was not as dismal as it seemed it might be

2008-11-13T23:22:00.005-06:00

I punched up "random" on the old bobPod on the way to work this morning, and was presented with the following playlist:

Sleater-Kinney - "Jumpers"
Pearl Jam - "Life Wasted"
PJ Harvey - "When Under Ether"
Monty Pyton - "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life"

What is my mp3 player trying to say?

Skal!

2008-11-09T15:45:00.003-06:00

Even as I'm typing this, I can't believe it. I never, EVER thought this would happen. No, not the election of the best candidate to come along in nigh on a century... I'm talking about actively encouraging people to visit Iceland.

I'm still very worried about the pollution that inevitably accompanies tourism, but Iceland needs money like Sarah Palin needs history, geography, civics, and English lessons. The U.S. dollar goes twice as far now as it did when our family went this summer (damnit!). GO and support this awesome country!

I just ask that everyone picks up their litter. And say "hi" for me.

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Listening to: Björk - Hyper-Ballad
via FoxyTunes

Today, I Voted...*

2008-10-30T09:50:00.007-05:00

Today I voted against fear and cynicism,
against a system that casts doubt about whether or not my vote will be properly counted.
I voted for hope, and for change.
I voted against staying up late nights wondering what has happened to my country,
against witch hunts and witch doctors.
I voted for freedom and opportunity, and for the health of mothers, soldiers, children, and the elderly.
I voted for science and the arts, and against our children endlessly filling in circles with number 2 pencils for their entire school careers and calling that an education (although I do, seriously, LOVE a freshly sharpened No. 2 pencil).
I voted against attack-ads, and calling tax cuts for the middle-class "welfare", and against those whose only interest in Israel is it's supposed involvement in the "End of Days".
I voted for unity, and I voted for the notion that this country can once again be an inspirational beacon to the world, rather than a bitterly delivered punchline.
I voted against indefinite imprisonment and a government that spies on it's own citizens.
I voted for paper ballots and accountability and liberty.

Do the right thing. Vote.

*actually, I voted a couple days ago, but finally got around to posting today.

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Listening to: Radiohead - Electioneering
via FoxyTunes

We have to protect the polar bears by making sure they're kept off the endangered speices list...

2008-10-25T13:03:00.000-05:00

Christ, it's been so long that it took me about fifteen minutes to remember my Blogger password. It's just that between the vacation we took earlier, dealing with various frustrating home repairs upon our return, and the discovery of Hulu, I've just had no time to spare for you, dear reader.

But I'm dragged reluctantly back into the Blogosphere by this video. It's not genius, by any means, and it's a little misogynist, but then, the same could be said with regards to Sarah Palin herself.

Is Sarah Palin amazing, or what? She's got the looks of Barbie, the intellect of Malibu Stacy, and now a wardrobe to beat them both. Is there anything intolerance and a lack of intellectual curiosity can't do for a gal?

OK, I assume it's obvious by now that I'm out of shape and winded. I'll get back to you soon.
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Listening to: Cortney Tidwell - Eyes Are At The Billions
via FoxyTunes

Friday Not-so-random Eleven

2008-05-16T09:25:00.007-05:00

Greeting, chum(p)s! I'm back for another Friday of listening to music, giving my opinion (snarky or brilliantly insightful, depending on how I feel at the moment), and then posting these musings for the whole world to see. This morning I downloaded, for FREE!( Legally, even!!!), The Slip, by Nine Inch Nails. Let's have a look under the hood:

1. "999,999". The album starts off with this cool swirling instrumental, kind of reminiscent of Ghosts I from his recent "Ghosts" project. Nice way to build up the beginning of the album.

2. "1,000,000". This next track starts off fast and angry, with an experimental spirit. I have to tell you, after watching American Idol a couple of weeks ago, listening to this stuff is a much-needed breath of fresh air.

3. "Letting You". Of course, the down side of experimentation is when things go inevitably wrong. This song, I don't like so much. It's not awful, but still.

4. "Discipline". This starts off like a dance club thumper, and a deliciously unedited false start. The subject matter of the lyrics is predictably angrosexual, but it's got a good beat, and you can dance to it.

5. "Echoplex". Hmm...I think I've actually heard this one on the radio a week or so ago. It has kind of a cheesy 80's Casio beat, but it works for this song. He's also put together an inspired break-down, build-up. Good stuff.

6. "Head Down". Excessively noisy in some parts, but overall, pretty good. The soaring chorus is really what saves this song from mediocrity. Plus, at the end, it kind of sounds like a modem, so bonus geek point for that.

7. "Lights in the Sky". After the noise of the previous track, this song is just piano and voice (plus some barely audible background hissing that starts about halfway through) . In an album full of experimentation, this stripped down song might be the bravest.

8. "Corona Radiata". The start of this song blends in with the end of "Lights in the Sky", and this one is a long one: seven and a half minutes...this pattern usually doesn't bode well for the listener. However, this instrumental track is well done: a mellow, hypnotic dirge for the first 5 minutes, which then eases into a slowly building soft cacophony that doesn't try too hard.

9. "The Four of Us are Dying". This album continues to show surprising depth and range. Another instrumental track, this one sounds like what would happen if The Cure did a song for a James Bond movie.

10. "Demon Seed". The name of this song doesn't give me much hope, but let's give it a fair shake here. Hold on while I listen...Ok, I'm back. Yeah, it's pretty much filler. But good filler.

11. Radiohead - "Pyramid Song". Well, the NIN album was only ten songs, so in order to fulfill my contractual obligation, I needed one more song. This one eerily fits in perfectly.

As a reward to those patient enough to actually read to the end of this post, I offer you a link to the free download of the new NIN album, The Slip.

But wait, that's not all, if you act now, I'll throw in, absolutely free, this link to download the first album of the 4-album NIN project, Ghosts I-IV. How can I afford to do it? Brain damage!!!

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Listening to: Snoop Dogg - Drop It Like It's Hot
via FoxyTunes

The Whom Now?

2008-04-22T23:22:00.000-05:00

Hello again, random recipients of my trickle-down of postings! Now, I don't usually do requests, but seeing as how I've been ignoring my commenters to the point that my readership now resembles the dried up fern corpse sitting in the dark corner over there, I thought I'd answer a question that eraty posed in a comment to my previous post...what do I think of The Who?

I think they're pretty good, I guess. Pete Townsend certainly had flashes of brilliance ("Behind Blue Eyes", "Eminence Front", "Love, Reign O'er Me", "Let My Love Open The Door"), and nobody, but nobody, has got better songs about pinball and squeezeboxes.

But mostly, when I think of The Who, I think of this stupid thing I heard on the radio a few years ago, making fun of then Minnesota Governator Jesse "The Mind" Ventura.

And then I think of this:

Which inevitably leads me to this:

And from there I'm on YouTube half the damn day.

So yeah, I'd say The Who are good, yet uneven band; a better than average outfit overshadowed by the British supergroups they were unfortunate enough to have rose to prominence with.

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Listening to: Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine
via FoxyTunes

FRE - Why I like the South Park

2008-04-04T20:53:00.008-05:00

Sure, I don't agree with everything they do. Of course, they tweak my delicate liberal sensibilities, what with their crass criticism of Hillary Clinton and Al Gore. But they often enough get things right, in my opinion. And they can do so many things that are so wrong, yet I can't stop laughing at them. Butters is my favorite:

And now every episode of South Park in available on line for free!

How about some more songs, then?

1) PJ Harvey - Sheela-na-gig.

Maybe I'll get so see one on my big trip to Scotland...but I'm not going out of my way.

2) Radiohead - I Might Be Wrong.

Radiohead made a classic appearance in the episode about Scott Tenorman.

3) Fiona Apple - Shadowboxer.

This is the first Fiona song I ever heard...still love it.

4) Beck - Truckdrivin' Neighbor Downstairs.

Actually, across the street, in my case. Ironically, the truck drivin' neighbor is actually nice; the meth heads live to the west of our house.

5) Beethoven - Egmont Overture.

Keepin' it classy!

6) The Amps - Mom's Drunk.

So very psyched that the Breeders have a new album coming out.

7) Pixies - Levitate Me.

Twofer of sorts.

8) Jimi Hendrix - Hey Joe.

A song about a jerk that kills his woman what done him wrong.

9) PJ Harvey - When Under Ether.

Sweet!

10) Best Friends Forever - How BFF Breaks It Off With Movie Stars.

Will Orlando Bloom go out with the girls from a small-time midwestern girl band? Not if Jess and Brianna have anything to do with it.

11) Jarvis Cocker - Don't Let Him Waste Your Time.

I'm not a huge fan of of Pulp, or even of Jarvis's solo album in general, but this song has really grown on me.
I'm sure they wouldn't like him on South Park.

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Listening to: Hum - Suicide Machine
via FoxyTunes

It's Bjorking Bjorktastic!!!

2008-03-24T22:45:00.008-05:00

OK, I know it's been a while, but I'm back from my self-imposed hiatus, ready to throw myself wholeheartedly back into blogging. My hiatus yielded mixed results, but it did give me time to decide on one thing: no more hiatuses (hiati?).

Aside from making that decision, another thing I did over my long break was watch some movies with Sy. We saw Horton Hears a Who (which was excellent), Kicking and Screaming (the poser preppie one, not the Will Ferrell disaster - although after five minutes, I wished I was watching the Will Ferrell disaster), and Dancer in the Dark, starring one Bjork Gudmundsdottir (I believe there aren't any others).

Sweet Googily Moogily, she did an amazing job in that movie. In the beginning of the movie, her acting seemed stilted and awkward and almost painful to watch, but as the film progressed (and as her character grew more anguished), she really started to shine. Generally I'm not a fan of musicals (aside from Nightmare Before Christmas), but this was intriguingly unlike any musical I've ever seen before.

Plus, she recently called out the Chinese over immoral and illegal occupation of Tibet, which is sexy. I can't wait to go to the Milk Bar toilets this summer!

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Listening to: Björk - There's More To Life Than This
via FoxyTunes

Best Band Poster...EVER!

2008-02-13T10:55:00.005-06:00

What better way to wish the blogosphere a Happy Valentine's Day than to share this wonderful piece of Photoshop magic applied to an iconic American massacre?

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Listening to: Best Friends Forever - Ghost Song
via FoxyTunes

FRE (me from XP)

2008-02-08T09:39:00.000-06:00

Argh...my computer is giving me fits. When the processor is just the slightest bit busy, the sound starts skipping and distorting. You know that welcome song that your Windows XP sings to you when you turn it on? It's usually so soothing and reassuring - a great way to start the morning. Mine sounds like a yodeling William Hung.

I tried switching my primary IDE controller from PIO to DMA, but Windows really wants to use PIO, so it looks like I have to uninstall my IDE controller and then reinstall it. What a pain in the arse...and that might not even be the problem. Grrrrrrrrrr.

1. White Stripes - Do.

This is dirty, old kind of White Stripes. Which is a good thing.

2. Fiona Apple - Not About Love.

Extraordinary Machines...my computer is not one.

3. Schtum - Skydiver.

I've never heard a better song about skydivers. Heck, even skydiving in general!

4. Radiohead - Knives out.

This is a good song for driving at night...makes me feel like a real badass.

5. Weezer - Say It Ain't So.

Say it ain't so, computer. This sound glitch of yours is so annoying!

6. Sleater-Kinney - Buy Her Candy.

Timely advice, ladies.

7. Beck - Atmospheric Conditions.

Speaking of, the announcer on the radio this morning said that this weekend it's supposed to get down to "30, 40, 50 below wind chills". Ouch.

8. Nine Inch Nails - Dead Souls.

I prefer this version over the original by Joy Division.

9. Pixies - Alec Eiffel.

"They didn't want it but he built it anyway", "He thought big and they called it phallic"...so many great lines in this one.

10. Luscious Jackson - Why Do I Lie?

Probably my favorite LJ song. This whole album is like a mini-vacation to a tropical island...which will be cold comfort when the wind chill drops to around 30 below this weekend.

11. The Breeders - I Can't Help It If I'm Still In Love With You.

As near as I can tell, this is a one-take, goofing-around outtake, complete with stumbles along the guitar strings, but the raw feeling makes this Hank Williams classic all the more compelling.

Hey, I just tried the IDE fix - and it worked! In your face, Microsoft!!!

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Listening to: The Dandy Warhols - Bohemian Like You
via FoxyTunes

FRE –live blogging from the far dispatches of Detroit’s tentacles

2008-02-01T16:46:00.000-06:00

Wow…I am so excited to be a part of this historic occasion. Well, at least historic from the perspective of this particular blog. I’m thrilled to tell you that I am writing this post from a car dealership while the fine service technicians, who I am sure are totally not of the mindset that they are going to fleece me, attend to a small issue with my car.

The issue, you ask? Well, that’s a little personal, but I’ll allow it. The issue is that my “service ABS” lights have come on. Which is a tad unusual, as my car doesn’t actually have an anti-lock brake system. Perhaps it has ABS envy?

Ok, the dealership’s customer internet connection has gone down, so I’ve switched everything to a word doc, which I will have to re-enter into Blogger once I get home. They must’ve taken issue with that whole “fleecing” remark I made earlier and cut the Ethernet cables.

Well, they can take my internet access, but they can never take my freedom!

Oh, and my money, too. I’m sure they’re going to take some of that.

1. Bjork – Crying.

I’m sure this is a vision of things to come. Like when I get the bill. Or when the stupid ABS lights come on a week later.

2. Sleater-Kinney – Dig Me Out.

I’m starting to get some looks from the other victim…err, customers from the little chair-dance I’m doing. Sorry, you sad people, I’m not going to let you hear how much this song rocks…which is a lot!

3. Radiohead –Nude.

This song is off of In Rainbows, and is so relaxing I just might fall asleep here in the customer service waiting room. Here’s hoping I don’t drool in my sleep.

4. The Jesus Lizard – Mailman.

One of the creepiest songs I own. Great guitar though.

5. Red Hot Chili Peppers – The Greeting Song.

Man, this takes me back. Reminds me of the time I lost all of my indie cred in the town of Oshkosh, WI. I was looking at a Mother’s Milk CD, and Sy came up and said, loudly, “I thought you said that was a bad CD!” Everyone in the place looked at us as I tried to explain to her that that’s not what I had said. In fact, I had told her that I was pretty sure she would not like it. It was awkward.

6. Bjork – Army of Me.

One more Bjork song and this FRE will be like an army of Bjorks…which would be cool to see. I’ve really got to get my hands on her new CD.

7. Soul Coughing – Pensacola.

This is my favorite song off of El Oso. It’s about buying guns at Wal-Mart to exact some revenge.

8. Pearl Jam – Life Wasted.

Speaking of wasted, that’s what will happen to your money if you buy this CD. Do yourself a favor and just buy the first two tracks on iTunes.

9. Interpol – Evil.

Not a big Interpol fan, but I really dig this song.

10. Noisettes – Sister Rosetta (Capture the Spirit).

This was a free download off of iTunes. It’s better than 98% of the stuff they give away. I’ve actually listened to it more than once!

11. Josh Ritter – To the Dogs or Whoever.

Some Josh Ritter, I just don’t like at all. This is not one of those tracks. This is a catchy, jangling, stomp-your-boots-on-the-worn-wooden-floor good time.

Well, surprise,surprise – the friendly service tech just came and suggested several repairs that the dealership would be more than happy to charge me for. MFer even gave me the friggin’ puppy dog eyes when I refused. I gots to get outta here. Later, haters!

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Listening to: Nirvana - On A Plain
via FoxyTunes

No one's gay for Moleman :(

2008-01-30T12:27:00.000-06:00

In the song "Cure For Pain", Morphine's frontman Mark Sandman soulfully intones that when they find a cure for pain, that's the day he'll throw his drugs away. Seeing as he is now dead, this news comes a little late to help him down his road of recovery, but it's fascinating news nonetheless.

" As vulnerable as naked mole rats seem, researchers now find the hairless, bucktoothed rodents are invulnerable to the pain of acid and the sting of chili peppers."

The creature, pictured to the left, may hold the key to allowing we humans to finally realize our dreams of sticking our fists directly into open fires to toast marshmallows for our smores, chewing shards of broken glass, and fearlessly hammering in nails.

This new discovery also provides a boost for the theory of intelligent design, due to the fact that so benevolent is our God, that He, in His tender mercy, ensured that this ugly, ugly creature would never feel any pain resulting from the stinging insults the other animals direct towards him. Can I get an "Amen"?

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Listening to: Of Montreal - We Were Born the Mutants Again with Leafling
via FoxyTunes

"Stimulus Package" sounds like English Pornography - FRE

2008-01-25T13:43:00.000-06:00

Sort of like one of those ones they talked about in Family Guy (not dirty, but also probably NSFW).

Let's get down in dirty with perhaps the only industry more dehumanizing than the porn business: the music business.

1. Foo Fighters - The Pretender.

Surprisingly complex intertwining rhythms convinced me to spend a buck on the download.

2. Radiohead - Pyramid Song.

This is right up there in my top ten of all-time. Reminds me of the Tibetan Book of the Dead.

3. PJ Harvey - Victory.

After listening to White Chalk for the past few weeks, this song seemed to get some of its' punch.

4. Bjork - It's Oh So Quiet.

For years, I thought that this song just begged to be ice skated to competitively. Then, in the last Olympics, it happened. Oh, the vindication!

5. Seven Year Bitch - Gato Negro.

Grungy, girly goodness.

6. Veruca Salt - Venus Man Trap.

Damn, the ladies are representing today. I think VS is way underrated.

7. Smashing Pumpkins - Mayonaise.

My absolute favorite condiment-titled song eveh...even better than Mean Mr. Mustard!

8. Nirvana - I Hate Myself and I Want To Die.

My second favorite suicide-titled song eveh...after SK's Jumpers.

9. The Cardigans - Happy Meal.

I have a soft spot for the Swedes. Except for ABBA. I mean, I do have some standards.

10. Teddybears - Punk Rocker.

Iggy!

11. Gogol Bordello - Start Wearing Purple.

What a wonder climax to a titillating Friday stuffed with aural stimulation!

2008-01-22T11:26:00.000-06:00

Something's really been bugging me for the past couple of

years. If you were to imagine that the text over here was

the red and white stripes, and the picture over there was

the blue field of stars, then this would be the proper way to

display the flag. I've had it up to here [points to top of pointy

head]. I know that the rationale is that the flag should look

like it's always moving forward, but anyone who knows

anything about military strategy can tell you what a ridiculous plan that would be...

Friday Random 1011

2008-01-18T00:18:00.000-06:00

Don't worry dear, timid reader. I do not plan on listing one thousand eleven songs. Truth be told, I only have 922 songs on the old bobPod. "Why so few?" you ask. Because SSB don't gum up his machines with crap, that's why.

No, 1011 is the binary equivalent of 11. It has been said that there are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't. If you think that is funny, you are such a nerd...and I love you for that.

Let's get to the FRE:

1. Tori Amos - Twinkle.

They mention her in Flight of the Conchords, so you know she's cool.

2. Radiohead - No Surprises.

Oh yeah, that's the mellow stuff. I can feel the tension melting away.

3. Schtum - Skydiver.

This song starts off like so many millions of other songs, then gets exponentially awesome as the seconds go by.

4. Sleater-Kinney - It's Enough.

Oh, that's where you're wrong, ladies. I cannot get enough of this song...or the whole album, actually. Dig Me Out is my 2nd favorite S-K album, right after The Woods.

5. PJ Harvey - Dear Darkness.

Not my favorite song on White Chalk, but a very well constructed and produced song.

6. Meat Beat Manifesto - Circles.

I don't know how he did it, but there it is: mellow dance electronica.

7. Hole - Doll Parts.

Oh, I could go on for hours about Courtney Love. About how much I hate her, but still think this is a really well written album so that only makes me hate her more. But I shan't get into all that. I'll just sit here and think about the scene in Juno where Ellen Page and Jason Bateman sing this song.

8. Gorillaz - 19/2000.

Get the cool shoeshine!

9. Soundgarden - Show Me.

I would so much rather have Soundgarden and Rage Against the Machine than Audioslave.

10. Beastie Boys feat. Biz Markie - Benny and the Jets.

If there is a more awesome dude than Biz Markie, I haven't heard him.

11. Sonic Youth - Bull In The Heather.

It isn't just noise, Juno.

And no FRE could be said to be rockin' without a kick-ass binary solo:

0000000001
0000000011
0000000111
0001010001
1001000101
1110011000!

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Listening to: Jarvis Cocker - Don't Let Him Waste Your Time
via FoxyTunes

Noon whistles and rotary phones

2008-01-14T13:19:00.000-06:00

Every weekday, at noon, the aptly named noon whistle goes off downtown. It's actually more like an air raid siren, but everyone calls it a whistle. This is a common happening all across Wisconsin. From what I've been told, it serves the purpose of letting the farmers out in the fields know that it was time to head back to the house to eat lunch.

I spend most of my youth growing up in cities and affluent suburbs, an so had never heard the noon whistle before I arrived in Wisconsin. I am now in love with the sound.

It is a common practice in Zen Buddhism to take advantage of everyday sounds such this to take a moment to center yourself, and I find it really is quite calming...at least as calming as an air raid siren can be (our sounds like the first one in the link; try to imagine the second one isn't going off if you can). Whenever I hear it, wherever I am, I stop what I'm doing, take in a deep breath as the siren slowly builds in intensity, then exhale as it slowly winds down into silence. Most relaxing!

On the subject of wonderful sounds: I sometimes miss the rotary phone. I love to hear the rhythmic click, whirrrr, click, whirr, click, whirrr, click, whirrrrrrrrrr (that was a zero) in an old movie or TV show. Good directors use that sound to add to the atmosphere, and it is so better than the grating beeps and boops of touch-tones.

I hate those damn boops.

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Listening to: Matisyahu - King Without A Crown (Live Version)
via FoxyTunes

FRE

2008-01-11T08:22:00.000-06:00

As a small gesture to make up for my extended absence, I will from now on, at no additional cost to you, the customer, provide one more song each Friday. Out of the goodness of my own heart, it is.

OK, actually, I just much prefer the abbreviation FRE. I hate FRT! Looks like fart. Enough of that unpleasantness...this is about the music. And the children too, but mostly the music.

1. Pixies - River Euphrates.

I love the Pixies, and I really like the song, but one thing bugs me about it: the Gaza Strip is nowhere near the Euphrates River. Check it out.

2. Beck - Sleeping Bag.

My favorite Scientologist! Speaking of, I just heard last night that Will Smith is a Scientologist. That, I cannot get jiggy with...
I just saw I Am Legend last night. It was OK, I guess. There were several interesting plot lines that could have been developed, but they just couldn't seem to pick one and go with it. I'm sure it was better than the movie that it was remade from: Omega Man. Was Charlton Heston a big Bob Marley fan? Anywho, this is supposed to be about music, which I suppose, in a round about was, it kind of is, since I threw in the bit about Bob Marley. Ok, now I'm officially rambling...

3. Nirvana -Dumb.

From what I hear, the lyrics to this song are inscribed on Kurt Cobain's gravestone. I'm guessing it's probably the only headstone that mentions sniffing glue...in this country, anyway.

4. Pavement - Cut Your Hair.
Hands down, the best song on the soundtrack to A Very Brady Sequel.

5. Violent Femmes - Kiss Off.

Oh Lordy, how we used to drink and sing along to this one. It's sort of like Sesame Street with swears.

6. Radiohead - Videotape.

If memory serves, I'm supposed to do a review of this album. I'll hold off on commenting on this song until then, which works out great, because now I don't have to think...at least for the time being.

7. Limblifter - Cordova.

Before there was the New Pornographers, there was Limblifter. I got this CD for a buck because I am so lucky and Jesus loves me.

8. PJ Harvey - Oh My Lover.

This version is from the Peel Sessions CD. She fits all the emotion of a years long bad relationship into just under 4 minutes. She's talented like that.

9. The Breeders - Do You Love Me Now, Jr.

It's Kim Deal teaming up with J Mascis of Dinosaur, Jr., making a great song even better.

10. Morphine - Honey White.

I was forced to watch the extremely mediocre movie Nothing To Lose over New Year's Weekend. I was there with my extended family, who seemed to love it, so I couldn't just walk out on it, could I? Anyway, I was surprised to hear several Morphine songs peppered throughout the movie...how did they get mixed up into this train wreck masquerading as entertainment?

11. Peter Bjorn and John - Young Folks.

I recently downloaded this entire album, my first ever complete album download. How exciting!
Like my BFFs BFF say, you can't whistle without laughing and laughing's good for you.

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Now playing: Guster - Satellite
via FoxyTunes

Don't call it a comeback...

2008-01-07T14:32:00.000-06:00

Wow. What a trying month away from the blogosphere. Well, not really so much trying as it was busy. Actually, sort of busy and sort of not really feeling inspired to write much of anything.

But, mark my words, I shan't leave you all again for such a long period of time. That is my guarantee. Well, not so much a guarantee as a promise. Hmmm..."promise" is such a strong word - how about I call it my goal. No, not really an actual goal, more of a "I'm going to try until I give up" kind of deal. What's the phrase I'm looking for?

Ah, yes. New Year's Resolution! I resolve to keep on writing and posting and everything until I decide to throw whatever readership I haven't already pissed away onto the heap of discarded exercise equipment and A.A. pamphlets.

Speaking of promises unfulfilled, I believe I owe everyone some album reviews. Let's start with PJ Harvey's White Chalk.

This album was released in the States back in early October, I believe, and I didn't actually hear anything off of it until mid-October, on my way back from a pumpkin carving party. As I listened intently, I knew one thing for sure: I really had to up my game if I wanted to win the pumpkin carving contest next year. Man, I really mailed it in this year. Anyway, back to Peej.

When I first pushed play on my CD player, I was greeted by these weird, ethereal Beach Boys-esque piano chords. Had I not read up on this album before I played it, this might have come as quite a shock. There is no wailing or shrieking on this album, and piano. rather than guitar, is the instrument of choice. However, I did read up, so I guess the joke is on her.

I'm not going to do a song by song breakdown like I usually do. What I am going to do is just let you know that the more you know about PJ, the more you can appreciate this album. Of course, having just started playing piano a year or two ago, she is no virtuoso. At times, her playing reminds me of the times I'd go to my son's piano recitals and listen to child upon child struggle and fumble through pieces, nearly losing it but somehow pulling through with a recognizable, even gutsy, performance.

I admire Ms. Harvey's ambition and willingness to experiment and explore, and I think that these traits come through in many of her songs. She's really pulled together an honest-to-goodness album here, an increasingly rare feat in these days dominated by single-song downloads and you kids with your long hair and your salads with arugula in them. Arugula! In my day salads had iceberg lettuce, one mealy tomato slice, and, if you were lucky, maybe some vinegar for dressing. Arugula!

Anyway, I recommend this album for it's inventiveness, bravery, and for the fact that PJ is bringing back Victorian chic. Check it out:

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Now playing: PJ Harvey - White Chalk
via FoxyTunes

WTF is up with the serif-cursor?

2007-12-05T19:45:00.000-06:00

Are you like me? Are you unable to accomplish any valuable goofing-off because you can't take your eyes off the cursor that's been showing up all over the tubes of the internets? It's featured prominently on Wikipedia, and even on the Blogger sign-in page.

You know the one -- it's like a normal up and down line just like all the other cursors out there, but with an ever-so-minuscule pixel sticking out on the top right. I try to turn my head away, but my eyeballs stay glued to that little digitumor.

There! You see that little fucker right there? You might have to click on the picture to magnify it. It's sticking out like it's a part of the "f" in the search field, but letters don't stick out past the edge of the cursor! (Yeah, I do happen to look up cows on Wikipedia a lot...what of it?!?)

I've practically worn a hole in my monitor screen trying to scrape that little fucker off with my fingernail. Maybe I should sue them - I think I could site The People v. Opti-Grab (Navin Johnson, et. al.) as precedence. I'll take 'em for everything they've got...except maybe the ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

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Now playing: Damone - Out Here All Night
via FoxyTunes

Friday random ten feat. Words I Hate

2007-11-30T10:35:00.000-06:00

Of all the words in the American lexicon, the one I hate most would have to be "consumer". Let's get this straight, all you corporate fat-cats: I take great pride in the fact that I don't define my life based on the mindless intake and depletion of resources. Steve Jobs refers to iTunes users as "music consumers", which drives me up the effin' wall. I do not "consume" music - I "enjoy" music, it "enriches my life experience".

Hell, even organizations such as NPR refer to their listeners as "news consumers"...what the hell is wrong with "listeners"? Or, heaven forbid, "citizens interested in substantive issues that affect society as a whole"? You know who has "news consumers"? Faux News, that's who - and I'd appreciate it if I weren't grouped in with that lot.

Anyway, on with the FRT:

1. Sleater-Kinney - Heart Factory.

Cool...this song fits well with the theme of anti-mindless consumption screeds I started off with. On the subject of S-K, check out this video Carrie Brownstein did with Fred Armisen called "This Is Nice"...it's nice!

2. Hum - Stars.

This wonderful song is currently being raped and left for dead all in the name of "growing the brand" for Cadillac.

3. Nirvana - On A Plain.

In my opinion, the best song on Nevermind. As opposed to the song that dragged them reluctantly into the old main stream, "Smells Like Teen Spirit", which is probably the song that holds up the worst on the entire album.

It's safe to say don't quote me on that.

4. Coldplay - Trouble.

Well, there it is...not much to say about this one. Let's just move forward to the next song...which reminds me: it's "for-ward", not "fo-wad". If I hear the phrase "moving fowad" one more time, things will happen.

Oh, things will happen.

5. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know.

Not a huge Keane fan, but for some reason this one strikes a chord with me. Needs a nice, Bohemian Rhapsody-esque gong at the end, though.

6. Bjork - Venus As A Boy.

I like her fuzzy sweater on the album cover. There's just no substitute for Icelandic wool.

I hear their hot dogs are good too.

7. Beck - Burnt Orange Peel.

Soon after I heard this CD, I called it the most important American album in the last ten years. I'm backing away slightly from that statement now that my initial infatuation with it is over, but I'd still say everyone really ought to give this CD a listen.

8. Breeders - Drivin' On 9.

I wish the Muppet Show was still on back when Last Splash came out. They totally could have done this song on a rural highway set with frogs and bears and all kinds of crazy, fuzzy shit.

9. Pixies - Holiday Song.

Oooh - Sort of a twofer. And it's not even Tuesday! When I'm king, the classic rock DJs will be the first ones against the wall.

10. Dead Souls - Nine Inch Nails.

A Joy Division cover. Better than the original, I'd say, although I'm not a big JD fan, so take that with a grain of salt.

I hope this post has provided a "synergizing", "paradigm-shifting" experience for all of you "blog consumers". In an effort to give you a "value-added, interactive experience", I'll include this link to the industry buzzword generator. If you hear any douchebags uttering the phrases it might generate, let me know and I'll add them to my "Against the Wall" list.

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Now playing: Radiohead - 15 Steps
via FoxyTunes

I'm still alive...

2007-11-28T17:52:00.000-06:00

...but oh so busy.

In an effort to get everyone up to date, here's what's happened since my last post:

*I ordered and received PJ Harvey's new CD White Chalk, which I recommend everyone give a listen to because she's so awesome. I 'm definitely going to give it a thorough review next week.

*I finally settled on a price and downloaded In Rainbows, which I also plan to review in my unique style of malapropisms and stolen material that is just obscure enough that most people, hopefully, won't realize it's stolen.

*I had Thanksgiving at my in-laws, which was pretty good...except for the fact that one of the few things my father-in-law have in common are that we like to watch football, but he spent most of the weekend watching from the comfort of his bed...and, although it's plenty big and soft enough, I'm still very uncomfortable lounging around in a bed with another man. Makes the awkward silences we often share just that much more awkward.

*The Eagles were reunited on stage at the Country Music Awards (honestly, they'll give away awards for anything these days) ...right where they belong. I am strictly in camp with The Dude on this subject (WARNING: NSFW!):

The Dude abides...

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Now playing: Sleater-Kinney - Turn It On
via FoxyTunes

Friday Random ten: They're tryin' to make me go to rehab, I said No, No...well, on second thought...

2007-11-16T12:56:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I know...I'm as surprised as you are. I'm actually getting this post done almost on schedule. Sure, it's a little late in the day, but did you really expect any better. Are you foolish enough to think you'd get anything more than subpar performance?

If so, why don't you just head down to an Amy Winehouse concert and try your luck there.

1. Beastie Boys - Shadrach.

Wow...the Bible has really come to life for me. Thanks King Ad-Rock!

2. Morphine - Cure For Pain.

What came first, drugs or pain?

Pain, you idiot!

3. Weezer -Say It Ain't So.

Some sort of ode to "Shoeless" Joe Jackson. Stop watching Field of Dreams, guys.

Just kidding. This is one of the better songs off of a great album.

4. Radiohead - Airbag.

Well, I finally downloaded In Rainbows last night, eventually settling on 3 Pound British (I think that comes out to around $8). I'll be giving a review soon, if anyone cares. Right now I'll tell you that it's good, but it's no OK Computer. Whihch I suppose is like looking at a Michelangelo sculpture and saying "Well...it's no 'David'...".

Is it just me, or does the word "David" look sort effed up when you look at it for a while?

5. Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up To Dry.

Free iTunes download...better than most. Usually with the freebies, I'll download 'em and forget about them until the come up on shuffle a few months later, at which time I think, "Why the hell is this fouling up the bobPod?!?"

That doesn't happen with this song, which I guess is some timid testimonial to its non-suckiness.

6. Jimi Hendrix - Manic Depression.

Did you know you can get a contact high just from listening to this song? It's true. Former Rhodes Scholar Keanu Reeves heard this song once, and he's never been the same.

7. White Stripes - St. Andrews (The Battle Is In The Air)

Speaking of songs that make you wonder if you're high, Meg seems to narrating some sort of fever hallucination within this fury of swirling bagpipes. We've got a piper down!!!

8. Nirvana - Verse, Chorus, Verse

Aka "Sappy", a mournful ode to those who've given up their dreams for the security of domesticity in the suburbs. Excellent use of metaphor here.

9. Charles Mingus - When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.

Jazzy! Bleeding Gums Murphy would approve.

10. Outkast - Hey ya!

I'ma go pull down the shades and dance my fool white arse off.

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Now playing: Velvet Revolver - Fall to Pieces
via FoxyTunes

Your Mid-Writer's Strike Daily Show Fix

2007-11-14T17:37:00.000-06:00

OK, fellas, stick it to The Man:

You're welcome!

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Now playing: Sleater-Kinney - Jumpers
via FoxyTunes

What's good for Fred Sanford is good for America

2007-11-01T03:41:00.000-05:00

Way back in 2003, the Preznit hisself came to our town. He gave a speech on the growing economic vitality in our area which was so obviously spurned on by his brilliant financial strategery. He delivered this speech, with, I'm sure, no sense of irony, right in front of a non-profit, second-hand store.

A speech on how secure we are financially.

In front of a fucking Goodwill.

Dumbass.

It is, I'm sure, no coincidence that there has been a rise in the number of songs regarding back-alley free enterprise - dark places where the invisible hand of the market is doing things you don't want to know about with god-knows-who. Songs like Rag and Bone, by the White Stripes, and this number*:

Times are tough...I can't even afford to pay attention. Yeah, they're rough all right. It's gotten so bad that I don't even have a pot to piss in anymore. Things are rough, I tell ya, rough. I've even had to resort to stealing other people's shtick.

*the album version of this song is much better, but I'm a lazy, lazy man. Far too lazy to search all over the youtube for the album version. Lazy, you ain't kidding. I'm like a rug on valium. I'm so lazy I took lessons on a player piano.

Lazy, I tell ya.

Lazy

What is your issue?

2007-10-25T17:04:00.000-05:00

Well, I'd like to get right to the Friday Random Ten today, but first I have to make sure the yellow ribbon magnet on my car is straight, and then I have to put on the CD from that good ol' boy Keith Toby, and finally I have to make sure I have all of the little American flag pins on that my lapel can hold without threatening its structural integrity. (While there is no "minimum" per se, if you want to wear more than 15 pieces of flair, the government encourages you to do so.)

While I take care of all these patrotic "honey-dos", please enjoy this feature from America's finest news source, once again with a finger on the pulse of our nation:

OK, I slapped on a new bumper sticker double-dog daring anyone to try and burn this flag, and I yelled at no fewer than three people to "start talking American"...let's get down to business.

1)Fiona Apple - Paperbag.

My favorite song from When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You'll Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You Know That You're Right.

Yeah, she's a little wordy. Unamerican, I know, but I'll allow it.

2)Radiohead - Pyramid Song.

I still haven't downloaded In Rainbows yet...still debating what price to pay. This could go on for weeks.

3)Beck - Satan Gave Me a Taco.

Speaking of tacos, everyone gets a free one at Taco Bell from 2-5PM this Tuesday, as part of a World Series promotion. Tim McCarver supposed, rightly I think, that Taco Bell would probably give away far more tacos if the promotion ran from 2-5AM.

4)Candlebox - You.

Apparently, these guys reformed earlier this year after being defunct since 2000.

Yeah, I don't care either.

5)Gallows - Black Heart Queen.

Not bad at all for a free iTunes download.

6)Morphine - Whisper.

This is perhaps the most aptly named band ever. I feel a little high and a little strung out just listening to this.

7)Pixies - Hey.

I wish the Muppet show was still on when the Pixies were big, just so I could've seen them Muppetize this song. How awesome would that have been?

8)Silverchair - Lie To Me.

A hard-charging, minute-and-a-half grungefest.

9)Matisyahu - King Without a Crown.

I love it when disparate posts of this blog come together.

10)PJ Harvey - Man-size.

Speaking of PJ, I cannot wait to get her new CD, White Chalk. Yes, even in this age of intenet tubes and downloads, with some music I just have to have some sort of tangible talisman that I can hold and drool all over. Mmmmm....possessions!

Modest Yahoo

2007-10-24T00:17:00.001-05:00

When I first heard this song, I thought the artist was called "Modest Yahoo"...it was months (and many futile iTunes searches) later, that I stumbled upon his correct name: Matisyahu, which is a Hebrew word meaning 'bashful ululation', as far as I know.

I play this song nearly every day, preferably when I'm outdoors...it gives me the warm fuzzies. I can honestly tell you that it the best Chasidic reggae jam I've ever heard - give it a listen/view.

Wasn't that great?

Well..WASN'T IT?!?!?

The Friday Random Ten

2007-10-19T12:57:00.000-05:00

First, and this has nothing to do with music, but it's been screwing with my head since I first saw it, check this little mental test out:

Christ, this is worse than those magic-eye things!

It took me three views to get it to change from clockwise to counterclockwise, and then once I finally got it going counterclockwise, I couldn't get it going back the other way.

So, which way do you spin?

OK, enough, let's get to the musics:

1)Modest Mouse - One Chance.

God, I love MM. So why haven't I picked up We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank? Because mind your own business, that's why!

2)Tori Amos - Cruel.

Ahhh...this is off of her first album to be roundly dissed by critics. I think these critics were pretty unfair - most of the material here is actually adventurous and progressive. Except for that stupid song about Jackie O.

3)RHCP - Give It Away.

There's a special place in my heart for this band and this song in particular. Aside from the fact that it's a good song that reminds me of good times, it was featured on the Simpsons, where Krusty suggests, a la Ed Sullivan, that they change the lyric from "What I've got, you've got to get and put it in you" to "What I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss you". To this day, I still sing that version of the lyric.

4)Coldplay - We Never Change.

Wow, that really threw the brakes on. I like this whole album, by far the least pretentious of all the Coldplay catalog.

5)Jimi Hendrix - Manic Depression.

By far my favorite Hendrix song. The swirling beat, the driving beat, the bong-rattling bass...what's not to love?

6)Pixies - Ed Is Dead.

It just wouldn't feel like an FRT without either the Pixies or the White Stripes showing up. This is not one of my favorites by the Pixies.

7)The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize??

The Oklahoma boys ask some questions that we all know the answers to but do our best to ignore.

8)CSS - Alala.

I can't get enough of this song.

I just played it three times.

Awesome.

9)PJ Harvey - That Was My Veil.

Goddamn, PJ is amazing.

10)Pop Will Eat Itself - Not Now James, We're Busy.

This is, bar none, the best song ever about James Brown's arrest on domestic battery charges.

All in all, a fine Random Ten this Friday. And it was even two-fer free...can't beat that!

1)

Hell is rotoscoped

2007-10-17T13:19:00.000-05:00

Has this ever been had this experience?

You're sitting there enjoying one of the many fine, substandard programs on offer from our great cultural unidirectional chumbucket we call TV, when you're visually accosted by this:

I HATE these GDMFing commercials...am I the only one who finds them disturbing to look at? This process of superimposing animation over film is called "rotoscoping". Can you say "rotoscoping"? Good, I knew you could!

It feels like my guts are slowly trying to turn inside out when I see these things. I literally will scramble across the room, dive across the couch for the remote and turn the TV right the eff off. You should see it - I pretty much look like that new James Bond dude in an intense action sequence.

While looking for this commercial on YouTube, I came across some interesting info: an entire film, A Scanner Darkly, was made utilizing this technology. Here's the trailer:

This, for some reason, is far less disturbing to me, which I find extremely odd given the fact that it subjects me to Keanu Reeves. Maybe it's all the other effects they use, maybe it's the fact the film is more of an artistic endeavor than just blatant, pornographic commercialism...I'm not sure.

And just because I feel that there is not enough YouTubery contained in this post, here's funnyman Jim Gaffigan talkin' 'bout some bacon:

Friday Random Ten

2007-10-12T13:35:00.000-05:00

I must say I've been inspired by this thing Radiohead's doing with their new album, and in that spirit, I offer up to you an FRT available to you at whatever price you, dear readership, feel worthy. Oh sure -- I might offend some of the 'Blue Noses' with my cocky stride and musky odor. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the town fathers, who cluck their tongues, and stroke their beards, and say "What's to be done with this Sideshow Bob!" But for youse guys, that's a cross I'm willing, no, honored, to bear.

1)Vercua Salt - Venus Man Trap.

I remember this song was, for a time, used as the background music for MTV promos. You know, back when the "M" wasn't there for kitsch.

2)De La Soul (feat. The Jungle Bros. and Q-Tip) - Buddy.

Another rap about penises...yawn!!!

3)Cake - Satan is My Motor.

Man, these guys love those automotive metaphors! Pretty jazzy little number too.

4)Mazzy Star - Before I Sleep.

I just hafta saijwrg kgrw ......................oh, sorry, just nodded off to this aural Ambien.

5)Rolling Stones - She's a Rainbow.

Man, it seems like the Rolling Stones have reinvented themselves more than Madonna and the wheel combined. We've got the Blues Stones, the Disco Stones, the lame 90s Grandpa Stones, and these, the Psychedelic Stones. Damn, what would they have done if they hadn't had John, Paul, George, and Ringo to pattern themselves after?

6)White Stripes - Take, Take, Take.

A great song about a creepy celebrity stalker and the logical gymnastics that drive him. And damn it, there just aren't enough songs about starlets from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Great production on the low end of this song!

7)White Stripes - Walking With a Ghost.
I purchased (and not stole!) this song for the express purpose of trying to get Sy to see the awesomeness of this song. She'd heard the original, by Tegan and Sara, and thought it sucked, which it totally does not! I don't think she likes this version too much either, and frankly, I don't think it's anywhere near as good as the original.

8)Nirvana - Tourette's

A minute and a half of full-on rocking power. Good stuff!

9)Radiohead - Subterranean Homesick Alien.

Damn, why won't it play something from In Rainbows? Oh well, expect a review of the whole album shortly, relatively speaking.

10)Best Friends Forever - The BFF Theme Song.

"Because it (doo da doo) is hard to (doo da doo) sing for (doo da doo) pissy people..."

I love that line!

Well, I hope you all found that to be worth something. Any donations you wish to send can be sent...ah, who'm I kidding?

Radiohead's noble experiment

2007-10-10T10:27:00.000-05:00

This year, October 10th is more than just the day after Leif Erikson Day. No, it's not St. Swithins Day already - today is the day that Radiohead is releasing their new album, In Rainbows. As of now, it's available only through a download on the album's website, and you get to name your price. That's right, no more will The Man be telling you how much to pay for your music. Not since Abby Hoffman's Steal This Book has such a bold marketing scheme (or anti-marketing scheme, really) been used.

But let's think this through and get on the same page here people. Radiohead is trying to get a good thing going for us...let's not try any of that $0.02 crap (why the hell is there no cent sign on my keyboard!?!?!) It's Radiohead, it's bound to be good, so just pony up the dough.

Thank you.

Friday random ten

2007-10-05T10:25:00.000-05:00

Well, the big news around these parts is that mean old single mother victimized the good, honest, decent folks at our nation's gleaming repositories of ethics and morals, the recording industry. A jury returned a verdict that worked out to around $130 for each music file that was traced back to her computer.

This, to me, is ridiculous. I consider all the funds the music industry loses to illegal downloads as payback for all the records, tapes, and CDs that you run out and buy after hearing a fantastic song, only to find that every other song on the album is crappy filler. Payback!

Enough of that, anyway...here's the music my iPod spits out at me, which as far you know, was all obtained on the up-and-up:

1) Sleater-Kinney - The Fox.

A great way to start off the FRT. Not even a threat of legal action can diminish the awesome buzz I get from this song. I would change the ending of this song slightly if I had my druthers, but I'm probably being too picky.

2)Pixies - Something Against You.

Sweet. Picking my favorite song off of Surfer Rosa is sort of like picking my favorite kid...OK, that's a bad example, as I only have one kid, but I think you catch my meaning.

3) Modest Mouse - The Devil's Workday.

Speaking of illegal things, this song speaks of freezing a sack of puppies. But it's not as bad as it sounds. It's actually a pretty good song with a jazzy feel. Trust me, no puppies were hurt in the illegal downloading of this song.

4)Incubus - Pardon Me.

Not really sure why I have this song. I guess I'm just so crazy for illegal downloading, that I'll grab anything off of the internet. God, I ::heart:: illegal downloading!!!!!!!!!!! It just makes me feel so alive!

5)Peter Gabriel - A Different Drum.

NO, your eyes aren't deceiving you, that's a Peter Gabriel song. It's off of the Last Temptation of Christ soundtrack, which is a great, great, really great album...none of that "Sledgehammer" crap. In fact, I love this album so much, I didn't even have to download it illegally, I just went out and bought the durned thing! And then I illegally down loaded it. A few times. It's that good.

6)The Breeders - Hoverin'

This is, from what I gather, a relatively rare version of the song "Hoverin'" that I got off of the "Divine Hammer" single. Sounds like they recorded it in the bathroom, but in a good way.

7)Pixies - Levitate Me.

Man, today's FRT is a little heavy on the Pixies/Breeders. Must be time to expand the playlist. Through illegal downloading.

8)Weezer - No One Else.

I like this song, but damn...it's just so sexist. I really think it's about time we come together as a society and focus on eliminating the scourge of sexism. As an added bonus, that'll take the focus off of me and the gobs and gobs of illegal downloads I illegally download.

9)White Stripes - Icky Thump.

Some bands are jsut so awesome that I can't in good conscience illegally download their songs. OK, actually, that's not true, but there are some bands that I actually feel a slight twinge of guilt about illegally downloading. The White Stripes are in that group...but that almost makes me want to do it more. I need help - I'm a sick, sick man.

10)Red Hot Chili Peppers - Breaking the Girl.

Every RHCP song you illegally download makes Flea cry. Jeebus, I have seen the errors of my ways - no more illegal, not to mention immoral, downloads of songs for me. From here on out, I'm just gonna stick with my more agreeable passions, recreational drugs and dog fighting.

Have a great weekend. See you suckers later!

Et tu, Hum?

2007-10-01T20:47:00.000-05:00

Most people hate Michael Jackson due to his connoisseurship of trampy pre-teen boys who were probably just asking for it anyways. Me, I despise him for something he did long before (as far as I know) he developed a taste for the wee lads: selling out to The Man. He really set the ball rolling back when he sold a song he didn't even write to Nike. With all the little child slaves making the latest AirShox, it's obvious that nearly all of the $175 is going to the music publishing company.

Now, though, I will shift away from my perennial favorite target of Nike and onto the current object of my scorn, Cadillac. First they took the joy out of this song:

Now they've taken one of my favorite songs of all time (Stars, by Hum) has been sullied by the perverted corporate hand. Of course, I realize that it does take two to slam-dance, and I would be disusing my scorn if I didn't acknowledge the fact that sellout musicians (I'm looking at you , Gordon Gano) weren't, well, selling out.

I do grant sellout exemptions in certain instances, such as Willie Nelson, who got totally screwed by the government due in no small part to the fact that he's a successful man that loves the weed, and the Beatles, who had nothing to do with the selling of "Revolution" to those bastages at Nike.

And I guess I can forgive the now defunct Hum for selling the rights to their song...at least it's to an American car company. And no one who writes such an awesome song should ever have to have a day job again.

P.S. Screw Nike!

Friday random 11

2007-09-21T10:33:00.000-05:00

Man, where does the week go? I'd meant to do a post earlier this week, but I've been driven to distraction all week trying to figure out why a company named Franco-American would make Italian-style food.

It just makes no sense...I can only assume this is some sort of front for al Queda or the CIA or something. On a tangential topic, wouldn't it have been great if, instead of the endless parade of "I don't recalls" of former AG Gonzales, he'd just kept singing "Uh-oh, Spaghettios!"? I think he totally could've pulled that shit off.

Anyhoo, on with the musics!

1)Sleater-Kinney - It's Enough.
No, no, ladies...it's never enough S-K for me.

2)Helium - Pat's Trick.
I remember I first heard of Helium when I saw them on 120 Minutes...damn, that makes me feel sort of old to see that written out.

3)Pixies - Dig For Fire.
I have no idea what this song means, but I likes it anyways.

4)Coldplay - Shiver.
This band wasn't half bad before the singer met Gwen Paltrow.

5)10,000 Maniacs - The Painted Desert.
Great song from back before Natalie's head grew three sizes.

6)Lusine - Make It Easy.
A spacey, kind of mellow techno type of deal here. I imagine this is the sort of thing aliens listen to while they're flying around in their little saucers.

7)The White Stripes - Jimmy the Exploder.
An early Stripes song, from back when they wore their blues influences even more on their sleeves. P.S. get well soon, Meg.

8)Morphine - Thursday.
Badass song about cheating, and then having to leave town because the woman's husband found out. I have the feeling Mark Sandman totally lived like this.

9)Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds.
I have no strong feelings about this song one way or the other.

10)Radiohead - Pyramid Song.
Ah, this is one of my favorite songs ever, and a perfect one to go out on. Just beautiful!

11)Flight of the Conchords - Business Time.
Sorry, but this song came up next, and I just got it and love it so much, I was left with no choice but to extend the FRT to an FRE (Friday random eleven). If you haven't checked out the awesome show Flight of the Conchords, well, what the hell is the matter with you? Don't give me some BS excuse about "I don't get HBO" or anything like that. We live in the You Tube era, people...you no longer need cable to see shows on cable. Hallelujah!

Friday random ten

2007-09-14T10:46:00.000-05:00

It's Sideshow Bob, bitch...

OK, so maybe I've been phoning it in for a while now. And maybe when I do show up, I'm out of shape, I stumble around like I've got a BAC of 0.12 (which I do), and I'm obviously just half-heartedly going through the motions. And maybe I've yet to realize how my public behavior will make my kids envious of Michael Jackson's upbringing. But damnit y'all....I'm an icon, and as soon as I'm done with this, I shall seek out the smooth steely comfort of my stripper pole. Ah, stripper pole, I know you won't judge me!

1) Beck - Corvette Bummer.

There's nothing like the words "UK import EP" to instantly bump you up a notch or two in the indie cred department. This song is a nice stone cool groove.

2)Flaming Lips - Pilot Can at the Queer of God.

A great song off of Transmissions from the Satellite Heart, my all-time favorite Flaming Lips album. Having lived for a time in Oklahoma, I can honestly tell you that these guys are the only worthwhile thing to come out of that god-forsaken state evah!

3)Luscious Jackson - Under Your Skin.

I love these guys! Didja know that the drummer for Luscious Jackson used to be the drummer for the Beastie Boys, back when they were a punk band?

4)Cardigans - Erase-Rewind.

I'm not sure why, but there's a soft spot in my heart for Scandinavian bands. Heck, I can even enjoy ABBA on a slightly less than ironic level.

5)Balloon Guy - Resort to a Roadblock.

A Minneapolis band that no one has ever heard of. As a big believer in supporting local music, I urge you all to search out these obsucre Minneapolis bands such as Balloon Guy, Best Friends Forever, the Guy's All-Star Shoe Band, and some guy whose name my keyboard doesn't have the symbol for.

6)PJ Harvey - Water.

One of the many, many reason I love Peej is that she's not afraid of a 5/8 time signature.

7)Rolling Stones - Let's Spend the Night Together.

The Stones once performed this number on the esteemed Ed Sullivan Shoe...er, Show. Being as this was before the Fox Network opened the Pandora's Box of Naughty Words, this was an uptight time in America's history, so Ed, understandably, had an issue with song about torrid one-night stands.

The censors told Mick that he had to sing an alternate line on the show, perhaps something about how nice it would be to dance with the young lady in the song, making sure to keep room for the Holy Spirit between the two at all times. "When it came to that line, I just sang mumble," he said after the performance. AS opposed to all the other times you sing, Mick?

8)Pixies - Holiday Song.

An average offering from the Pixies. But I'll take an average Pixies song over a good song from most any other band.

9)The Legendary K.O. - George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People.

A smart song lifted off of Kanye West's "Golddigger", which was in turn lifted from Ray Charles' "I Got a Woman". Scathing political satire, which is awesome, because I've always wanted to use the word "scathing" on this blog.

10)Best Friends Forever - My Head in Front of Your Head.

Evil Spock, this one's for you. Sing it with me!

Well, that took forever...beloved stripper pole, here I come! Please enjoy this video of a rare PJ Harvey song while I'm gone.

You don't say.....

2007-09-05T18:23:00.000-05:00

For every Keith Richards, there are ten Keith Moons.

Ghost Friday random 10

2007-08-31T09:24:00.000-05:00

This FRT comes to you from the future - oh, wait, I mean the past. Composed on Thursday, it sat waiting patiently in the ether, just silently biding its time, ready to spring upon you all like the Spanish Inquisition. Here comes the awesomeness. Or suckitude. Only time will tell:

1)Rage Against the Machine - Township Rebellion.

Angry young gentlemen that broke on the scene a few years too early...anti-governemt song from the Clinton era seem quite quaint these days. You know, kinda like the Geneva Conventions...

2)Deftones - Minerva.

Great song, but you really need to use headphones to get the most out of it. Or maybe you just need to be high...that would probably work too.

3)Beck - Mutherfuker.

I remember giving a friend a ride home from Pizza Hut one night when this song came up on the mix-tape. She looked at me, then turned and looked out the window, and then, in a hushed voice, said, "Man, this song is so true".

4)Meat Beat Manifesto - Circles.

This guy did techno right. My music snob roommate in college was impressed when he found out I had this CD.

5)Fionn Regan - Put a Penny in the Slot.

Man, I love this song! Nice simple acoustic songsmithing. Kind of reminds me of Nick Drake on speed...well, maybe not speed - Dexatrim or double lattes perhaps.

6)Beck - Forcefield.

Sweet and mellow - one of my favorite Beck songs, so I'll forgive the iPod for the repetition.

7)Breeders - No Aloha.

Blurg...I need to get some more new music. Something from this century maybe.

8)White Stripes - Take, Take, Take.

Ah, that's better. You just can't beat a song about a disgruntled guy stalking Rita Hayworth. More adventurous fare from Jack and Meg.

9)White Stripes - You've Got Her in Your Pocket.

Stupid iPod. I won't forgive you this time! I won't, I won't, I won't!!!!! Is it me, or is "won't" an effed up looking word?

10)Beck - Today Has Been a Fucked Up Day.

And how! Lord, this is an awesome song.

Well, there it is, the ghoulishly fabulous ghost Friday random ten...I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!

I had no idea the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald was so recent...

2007-08-29T09:31:00.000-05:00

Well, its been a while blogosphere...sorry I haven't written to you lately, but you know how crazy things get. It's not you, it's me.

I was called away to the sea on short notice. The North Shore is a seductive mistress, sometimes fair and pretty, sometimes angry and violent. I guess you could say the sea has a beautiful mental illness, and that is what keeps me coming back.

We left for Grand Marais, MN last Saturday morning, and I was so busy getting ready (not to mention that I had to spend half the day at the mechanic's due to very poorly timed car trouble) that I plum forgot all about the usual Friday random ten...it'll never happen again. Which reminds me, there will be no Friday random ten this Friday, as we are leaving on a getaway this Friday that will take us to exotic locales all around the Dairy State. I suppose I could just do it on Thursday and then post it on Friday...yeah, I think that's what I'll do. Sorry, I'm just thinking out loud here, I probably should've edited this out.

Anyhoo, whilst in beautiful Grand Marais, we ate at two excellent restaurants, one very good restaurant, and one pretty good place. An interesting thing we have noticed is that the city seems to import young ladies from Russia and the Ukraine (or is it just 'Ukraine', no 'the'?) to work as waitstaff over the tourist season. One of our waitresses was named Tatania and asked us "What eggs you likes?". Adorable!

We also learned that the good ship Edmund Fitzgerald sunk on November 10, 1975. I had no idea - I had always thought it happened back in the 30's or 40's. That Gordon Lightfoot, who recorded his song "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" later that month, had to either be very inspired, psychic, or a saboteur in order to get it done that fast. Mr. Lightfoot, where were you on the night of November 10, 1975? Do you have anyone who can vouch for your whereabouts?

Right before we left to come home, we stopped to check on the prayer flags we'd left for our dead friend last year. Only a few scattered threads remained, clinging to rough edges of tree bark. Then we went and played in the lake, wading in at first and eventually becoming completely drenched by the strong waves that overwhelmed us and nearly stole a flip-flop.

And that's why this was the best summer vacation ever!

the bright wool enhancements of yesterday's score

2007-08-21T15:39:00.000-05:00

Ugh...brain no work good. I wish I had something more substantial to offer you, and I do have a couple interesting posts in the works, but I've been doing an insane amount of writing/editing lately. The next few weeks will reward your patience with amazing insights on rock and roll sellouts and the fine art of guitar smashing...Pinky swear!

But for now, in lieu of actual substance, I offer up this sorta funny video...enjoy!

Friday random ten

2007-08-17T12:15:00.000-05:00

Come on baby, daddy needs a new pair of everything:

1) Beastie Boys - Jimmy James.

This song lifts a sample from the ubiquitous (I can't believe I spelled that right on the first try!) drums of "Happy Birthday" by Jimi Hendrix, and it just doesn't get much better than that.

2) Nine Inch Nails - Something I Can Never Have.

Well, that's a comedown. I had this CD on heavy rotation the year it came out, and haven't really played it much since. This song holds up well, even for a cynical member of Generation X such as myself.

3) Bjork - Violently Happy.

This FRT is turning into a real roller coaster. Twists and turns, fast then slow then fast again. Do you want to go faster? Raise your hands if you want to go faster!

4) Third Eye Blind - How's It Going To Be?

I have an unexplainable soft spot in my heart for this band...on paper, I should hate them. But Lord help me, I don't. I know what I hate, and I don't hate this.

5) Pixies - Vamos.

Without a doubt, my all-time favorite bilingual song. I have great memories of speeding down a deserted Wisconsin highway in the dead of night in a car jammed full of people on a mission to find out why they don't put Spam in the meat department. Here's a video, featuring Frank Black and Kim Deal looking like your parents:

6) Soul Coughing - $300.

I think this is from the band's farewell album, before their singer left like so much Natalie Merchant. Now he's playing very small college venues. Sad, really.

7) Sleater-Kinney - Wilderness.

Another farewell offering. These ladies are now on an "indefinite hiatus", a goal to which I aspire.

8) Portishead - Wandering Star.

These guys have a license to be awesome, and they exercise it with extreme prejudice. Whatever that means. I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

9) Beethoven - Piano Sonata No. 8 Pathetique, 2nd movement

I'll spare you the jokes regarding a "second movement", and just tell you that I impressed myself by being able to name this piece without visual confirmation. Yes, I'm good...plaque good.

10) White Zombie - Super Charger Heaven.

And our roller coaster rockets through the tunnel of Hell before coming to a stop in front of a buncha corndog- eatin' yokels. Please wait until the ride has come to a complete stop before exiting, and we'll see you next week...if you dare!

"Meatloaf!?! My most dreaded of all loaves!"

2007-08-15T13:14:00.000-05:00

Not much time today, so instead of a normal post, I'll just posit this notion and let anyone who feels so inclined to discus it...

Resolved: Meatloaf sucks.

Exhibit A, with a tip of the hat to the late Phil Rizzuto:

I rest my case.

Discuss.

Friday random ten

2007-08-10T11:07:00.001-05:00

Ok, I just got a Wii yesterday, so lets hurry up and get this over with and get back to the Wiimotes.

1)PJ Harvey - Dry.

My favorite Peej song ever. This song always sort of interested me because it was released on her second album "Rid of Me", rather than her first album, which was titled "Dry". She's a weird one, I guess.

2)Rage Against the Machine - Vietnow.

I'm enjoying a little resurgence of enjoyment of RATM )does that make sense?), due to the fact that I recently got to see my reserved little librarian friend rock out spontaneously in public when she heard one of their songs while walking down the street a couple of weeks ago. Good stuff!

3)Coldplay - Yellow.

Not a big fan of this song...I can see what they're going for, but I just don't think they pull it off. It's a little embarrassing to admit it, but I really like this album, but I think it's one of those deals where it's not so much about the album, but more about good memories I associate with it; namely, a family trip a few years ago to the Southwestern desert.

4)Blind Melon - Tones of Home.

This is an album I'm not embarrassed to admit that I really like. Most people have only heard their one popular song "No Rain", but that's really one of the weaker songs on the album in my opinion.

5)7 Year Bitch - Sore Subject.

One of the bands that came out of Seattle in the 90's, 7 Year Bitch is a girl band, or, more to the point, a grrrl band, so really, how bad could it be?

6)Violent Femmes - Kiss Off.

My admiration of these native Milwaukeeans has fallen significantly with their big sellout to the Wendy's corporation (much to the dismay of most of the band members*), but is tempered by the idea that the executives who approved the deal most likely have no idea that they are shilling their hamburgers with a song about masturbation. Haw haw!

7)Beck - He's a Mighty Good Leader.

What is it about Beck that he can write better folk songs than most folk artists, and better country songs than most country "artists"? Must be the Dianetics.

8)Third Eye Blind - Narcolepsy.

Imagine my disappointment when I first got through this song and their was nothing in it about intercourse with corpses! This song is a fairly bland, but not unamusing, offering, but it does start to rock right towards the end.

9)Portishead - Glory Box.

Mmmmmmmmmellow. Very cool song.

10)Pearl Jam - Oceans.

Oh yeah, I remember this song...haven't heard it in years. Along with the previous song, combines to bring this FRT to a nice, relaxing end.

Well, see you suckers later, I'm off to my video gam...errr, aerobic workout!

*"For the fans who rightfully are complaining about the Wendy's burger advertisement featuring Blister in the Sun, Gordon Gano is the publisher of the song and Warners is the record company. When they agree to use it there's nothing the rest of the band can do about it, because we don't own the song or the recording. That's showbiz. Therefore when you see dubious or in this case disgusting uses of our music you can thank the greed, insensitivity and poor taste of Gordon Gano, it is his karma that he lost his songwriting ability many years ago, probably due to his own lack of self-respect as his willingness to prostitute our songs demonstrates. Neither Gordon (vegetarian) nor me (gourmet) eat garbage like Wendy's burgers. I can't endorse them because I disagree with corporate food on culinary, political, health, economic and environmental grounds. However I see my life's work trivialized at the hands of my business partner over and over again, although I have raised my objections numerous times. As disgusted as you are I am more so."

"Wasted away again in Margaritaville, looking for my lost shaker of salt....oh, here it is!"

2007-08-07T12:15:00.000-05:00

Man oh man do I hate Jimmy Buffet. How can you hate Jimmy Buffet? people often ask me, his song are so fun! I don't know...maybe I was dragged along by my dad to one too many company mixers where I had to watch as all the old white people got drunk, danced around (like white people), and sang along to songs from this slouch. Maybe it's the remarkably racist and sexist things I overheard at these little shindigs that left the bad taste in my mouth that I forever associate with this hack.

How can I hate Jimmy Buffet indeed...he's like Raffi for yuppies, that's how! I imagine his songwriting process goes something like:

Man, do I have a hangover. Well, a little hair of the dog ought to clear that up. Ugh...I was soooo wasted away last night...oh my sweet jesus, wouldja look at that! It's really disturbing to see that in the bed. Why do all my groupies have to be so pink, fat, and over 40? Oh well, I suppose it's my own damn fault. Anyhoo, back to that hair of the dog. Now where the hell is that salt shaker...holy shit, I should be writing this shit down. It's gold, baby, GOLD!

That's why I was so surprised to hear about the sudden turn in his career.

"Three simple words: I. Am. Gay."

2007-08-03T13:11:00.000-05:00

In lieu of the regularly scheduled Friday Random 10, today we bring you a post in the classic "It All Comes Back to the Simpsons" style:

Everyone reacts to tragedy differently...some people decide to dedicate their lives to some cause or another, some give to charity, some spend time with their loved ones, some copulate furiously with strangers. Me: I go shopping. Hardly a manly reaction, I know, but that's just what I do.

After 9/11, I went out and bought a laptop computer. After the death of a friend last year, I bought all kinds of useless crap, including, no lie, a pair of blue suede shoes. And following the collapse of the I-35W bridge earlier this week, I went and got some clothes. Luckily, I did have Sy along with me on all these occasions, so I could plausibly create the impression that it was mostly her doing the shopping and I was just along for company, but deep down I know it's shamefully true: when disaster strikes, I put on my sissy pants and go shopping. It feels a little better to admit it...but not much.

This bridge collapse has touched me on a fairly personal level. Although I prefer to keep to the streets laid out by my drunken Irish forefathers in St. Paul, I had been on that bridge many times. It's amazing that the number of casualties is so relatively low, considering what it could have been.

In a spirit of tribute (and possibly in a sprit of my latent melodramatic homosexual leanings), I offer up this beautiful song by Minneapolis band February to pay respect to the victims and their families:

Beethoven v. Mozart: This time, it's personal!

2007-07-31T13:50:00.000-05:00

Which Classical Music Composer Are You?

Ludwig Van Beethoven (1770 - 1827)
Growing up, Beethoven endured mental/physical abuse by his demanding and alcoholic father who pushed him to become a musician in order to augment the family income. In 1795, Beethoven became publicly known as a rising and brilliant composer. But in 1801, his confidence began to disappear as his hearing slowly deteriorated, and in 1818 became completely deaf. He sank into depression and paranoia, and was viewed as an eccentric by others. Though musical tastes had changed in the 19th century (people then preferred light rossini operas), Beethoven's genius as a composer was still known and respected. Beethoven died in early 1827 during a thunderstorm. Sources say that Beethoven rose up and lifted his right fist as thunder lighted his room, and soon after, sank into eternal sleep. His funeral was attended by around 30,000 people.
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There is a long standing argument between SSB and Sy revolving around whether Mozart or Beethoven was the better composer...and I've actually had this debate many times, with many people. It kind of reminds of of the line in "Pulp Fiction" where Uma Thurman's character says something about the fact that a person can either be an Elvis fan or a Beatles fan, but not both. The level of intensity and passion that gets stirred up by this debate, especially among people who spend little to no time listening to or even pondering upon classical music, is always surprising.

As for me, I like Beethoven better, so much so that I actually took the above quiz around ten times to get to the right combination of answers to give me a 'Beethoven' return. The passion, intensity, and torturousness of his hard work come through in every note. Alongside the beauty of any given piece, you can hear the frustration and suffering he went through to arrive at the beauty.

Mozart, on the other hand, could compose a beautiful piece at will, seemingly out of thin air. Observers at the time noted that it was as if God Himself was delivering the music to Mozart's fingers, which to me sounds a lot like cheating. Beethoven, without the benefit of Mozart's precious "divine intervention", composed his 9th symphony, including the 'Ode To Joy', perhaps the greatest musical piece ever to testify to the glory of the Lord Almighty, while he was deaf! Take that, Godboy!

So whether you are a true aficionado of the arts, or you like Mozart instead, I'd love to hear what anyone weighing in on the subject would have to say.

Friday random 10

2007-07-27T10:52:00.000-05:00

OK, so the Icky Thump Review didn't generate an overwhelming amount of discussion - let's climb right back up on that horse and put ourselves out there again doing a little thing called the Friday random ten:

1) Hum - Why I Like the Robins.

Hum is a band out of Chicago. They produce this wonderful wall-of-guitars sound, interwoven with texture and mood. Like most good bands these days, they are now defunct.

2)Beastie Boys - Root Down.

I know there are a lot of Beastie-haters out there...these people really need to develop a sense of humor. I'll admit I was not a fan of 'Licensed To Ill', but they really did a good job of developing themselves musically and lyrically (with the help of the Dust Bros.) on "Paul's Boutique".

3)De La Soul - Magic Number.

Wow, two raps in a row - that's pretty fly...for a white guy. De La Soul is fun...that's all I have to say.

4)Ludwig von Beethoven - 7th Symphony, 2nd Mvt.

Such a beautiful, soaring piece of music - Beethoven is my MAN! I have a post about him coming up in the next week or two...one in which I'll enumerate the reasons why he was way better than that pantywaist Mozart.

5)Beastie Boys - 5 Piece Chicken Dinner.

My favorite under-half-a-minute song, off of the aforementioned "Paul's Boutique". Funny stuff, especially to a Dixiephobe like me.

6)Korn - Alone I Break.

No one writes a better half-song than Korn. This song, however, is pretty good all the way through. But it's Korn, so that will probably lose me some indie-cred points. Hmm...Blogger sems to think that "indie-cred" isn't a word...they're so lame.

7)Hum - Little Dipper.

Ah, the dreaded two-song, one-band phenomenon rears it's ugly head...stupid iPod! Very good song, though.

8)Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here.

A classic, absolutely the best song Floyd ever did. Brings back a lot of memories and ghosts. So good, I payed full CD price for a disk with only like 5 songs on it. Yeah, yeah, they're long songs, but that's not the point.

9)Blur - Song 2.

Woo-hoo! Who doesn't love this song?

10)White Town - Your Woman.

You know when you hear a song on the radio and it's kind of catchy and one day you see the CD in a store on sale and you think 'what the heck, I kinda like that song, and it's on sale, maybe I'll just go ahead and pick it up' and then you get home and pop it in the player and every song on it, except the song that influenced your decision to buy the CD, sucks?

That's "Women In Technology" by White Town. I'm reluctant to even place the jewel case next to my White Stripes CDs...they're just in different leagues.

Well, all-in-all, a pretty lackluster effort this week...I blame Steve Jobs and his stupid iPhone.

And now, to celebrate the release of the Simpsons movie, here's one of my many, many, many favorite Simpson clips:

Icky Thump

2007-07-24T13:25:00.000-05:00

So I'm in Target the other day, and even though I prefer to buy my music from small shops such as the Electric Fetus, the Exclusive Company, or Newbury Comics I saw the new White Stripes cd and just had to pick it up. In these times of downloadable singles and cd's crammed with filler, the White Stripes are one of the few bands who make truly good albums, a way underappreciated and nearly lost art.

Most people, due to the ubiquitous nature of the White Stripes, are unaware that 'Icky Thump' is the band's major label debut (Warner Bros.), and from the bizarre notes of the lead-off title track, any fears they would sell out or tame their sound are assuaged. In fact, a quick perusing of the listener comments on iTunes shows the opposite to be true - lots of people are confused and angered by the unmelodic instruments, but they are philistines as far as I'm concerned. This song kind of picks up where 'The Nurse' left off on their previous album.

The second track is 'You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do What You're Told)', and only because they're the White Stripes do I give a pass on the use of parentheses in the title (I hate parentheses!!!) Jack White recently spent some time producing an album for Loretta Lynn, and it shows on this track. It has a little bit of a country feel to it, and it's a little predictable, but Meg's drumming adds an edgy touch.

'300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues' has a nice poetic, easy flow, but it is a little derivative - this is nothing they haven't done a few times before. But it's still better than 90% of the new music out there, so I can't complain too much.

After the previous two mellow, sleepy songs, 'Conquest' hits the spot. Jack gets the whole Latin thing down in a way that he tried to but couldn't quite do on 'I Think I Smell a Rat' on "White Blood Cells". The interplay between the guitar and the trumpet is almost worth the cost of the cd all by itself. I predict that this song will open the next Quentin Tarantino movie.

I don't have much to say about 'Bone Broke' - it's a good rock song, something that sound like it might have been a leftover song from their self-titled debut.

The next two songs, 'Prickly Thorn, but Sweetly Worn' and 'St.Andrews (The Battle is in the Air)' (there are those damnable parentheses again!) are Scottish-themed songs that blend easily into each other. Towards the end, it sounds like Meg is having some sort of ecstasy flashback, but not in a bad way. Plus, you get bagpipes - if it's not Scottish, it's crap!

'Little Cream Soda' takes a dark and nihilistic turn, and that's an avenue that the White Stripes don't go down very much - too bad, as this song rocks with an urgency they don't usually show.

'Rag & Bone' is probably my favorite song on the album; a nice, fast-paced number, and funny too. As near as I can tell, this song is a narrative featuring Jack and Meg as a couple of vagabonds wandering the suburbs dumpster diving...no other band could pull this off.

'I'm Slowly Turning Into You' starts off very pedestrian and predictable, but is saved by the happy dirge of the chorus. I do have the feeling that this song might grow on me a little as I hear it more.

'A Martyr For My Love For You' is a sweet and sad song about the art of the preemptive breakup, and all of the rationalizing that goes along with it.

'Catch Hell Blues' has a classic blues feel, but is also fresh and innovative in both the guitar and drum work. If I were putting this album together, I would've ended on this song.

'Effect and Cause' sounds like an afterthought, and also sounds quite a bit like 'Summertime Blues' by Eddie Cochran. I suppose you could kind of look at this song as maybe something that takes place after the album, some silly thing just for fun, to unwind.

All in all, a great album I recommend to anyone. Seven thumbs up!

Friday random X

2007-07-20T17:25:00.000-05:00

Let's go crazy, roman numeral style!

I. Tori Amos - Twinkle.

I've been to a couple of Tori concerts in my time, and the thing I love best about them is when she sings these quiet songs accompanied only with her soulful piano playing. I've never heard this particular song live, but I really want to.

II. Nirvana - I Hate Myself and I Want To Die.

No Kurt, tell us how you really feel. This is the rockingest cry for help EVER!

III. Pixies - Monkey Gone To Heaven.

A good Pixies song, but a little overplayed.

IV. The White Stripes - Hotel Yorba.

I double-dog dare you not to tap your foot along with this rollicking number. This is one of the best songs off of White Blood Cells, along with 'We're Going To Be Friends', 'Fell in Love with a Girl', 'Now Mary', 'Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground', 'I'm Finding it Harder to be a Gentleman"...well, it's a pretty damn good album.

V. The Rolling Stones - Jumping Jack Flash.

Ha - this reminds me of that wonderfully horrible Whoopie Goldberg movie that I watched on cable over and over again in my youth.

VI. Sleater-Kinney - One More Hour.

Heavens to betsy, I love this song!

VII. Ministry - Cannibal Song.

With an intro of crows, rats, and back alley jazz saxophone, how could you go wrong? Well, I suppose stretching a two and a half minute song for over six minutes would be one way.

VIII. Weezer - No One Else.

This song reminds me of a friend who would regularly, in the same breath, say that he wanted a strong, independent woman in his life, but also wanted a woman who would be so committed to him that she would set aside her interests to help him in his aspirations for a musical career...funny guy, that one.

IX. Rage Against the Machine - Darkness.

Why can't these boys just sing a happy song every now and again? Maybe a 'Happy, Shiny People' cover or something?

X. Primus - Those Damned Blue Collared Tweekers.

Having lived in a few small towns in my life, I can certainly appreciate some of the sentiment in this song.

Feel free to drop in your own FRT if you wanna...

Gogol Bordello

2007-07-18T10:48:00.000-05:00

You know, it seems every day, people come up to me saying, "Bob, why, oh for the love of god why, can't I find a great band to drink to these days? You know, something upbeat, featuring a singer with a funny accent who occasionally mixes up the order of the subject and the verb in his lyrics something sort of polka-ish, but not too polka-ish. Where are these bands, Bob?"

After I implore these people to stop waving around their hand-made cardboard placards, on which are scrawled out their meager terms for employment, and after I assure them that Coke and Pepsi are indeed not the same thing, we get down to talking music. And that's when I tell them to check out Gogol Bordello. I think this is a fun little band...in my opinion, if you like Borat, you'll enjoy these guys. Just try getting drunk and not singing along with their catchy tunes. But this isn't about me or my opinions, or how drunk I am - this is about the music!

Friday not-so-random ten

2007-07-13T11:44:00.000-05:00

Oh my...where did the week go? I was so busy dealing with rental property and preparing a wildly successful cheese-tasting party, that I haven't posted for a whole week.

In an effort to make it up to everyone (but mostly myself), instead of the usual format, I'm going to keep hitting fast-forward on the iPod until I come across songs that really pique my interest, thereby saving all parties from the questionable decisions I've made in the past with regards to up- or downloading musics. OK, here we go:

1)Pixies - Something Against You.

I only had to FF 3 times to reach the first entry. This, I believe, is the 3rd song on 'Surfer Rosa', the song where, after two excellent songs ('Bone Machine' and 'Break My Body') where you might start some little letdown in intensity and excellence, but no, this song is even better! By the time I reached this song the first time I listened to the album, it was already my favorite album ever...I'm not sure if it still is my favorite, but it's certainly top ten.

2)Sleater-Kinney - Wilderness.

OK, this isn't the best SK song, but I'll stop and listen to anything off of 'The Woods', even that eleven minute song...OK, maybe I usually only get to the six or seven minute point, but still.
This song gives you a little Carrie, and a little Corinne. What more do I really need?

3)The Flaming Lips - She Don't Use Jelly.

This song offered most people their first exposure to the Flaming Lips, and has some of my favorite bass playing ever. Having lived for a time in Oklahoma, I can honestly tell you that his band is the only worthwhile thing to ever come out of that dismal state, unless you count the fantastic stories of college football corruption, which I do.

4)PJ Harvey - Sheela-na-gig.

Modern day polemic about how women, in an effort to please men, just can't please men. Stupid men!

5)Primus - Jerry was a Racecar Driver.

Did you know that 'racecar' is the same backwards as it is forwards? Palindromes are awesome...a man, a plan, a canal, Panama!

6)Beck - Rowboat.

This song was covered once by Johnny Cash, and is better by miles than anything to come out of Nashville in the past 20 years. All modern day country "artists" should listen to this song and hang their cliche-filled heads in shame - deep, deep shame. In fact, upon hearing this song, Hank Williams ceased spinning in his grave.

7)Pixies - Gigantic.

OK, usually I bitch and moan when the iPod (or as I named it, the "bobPod") deals me two songs from the same band, but come on...'Gigantic' features Kim Deal on the lead vocals, so it's almost like a different band. Plus, this song just out and out rocks.

8)Belly - Dusted.

Oooh, maybe next I'll have to skip ahead to a Breeders song and a Throwing Muses song. Usually Tanya Donnelly is a little tame for my tastes, but this song rocks.

9)BFFs - My Head in Front of Your Head.

The best band in the history of this and all previous and alternate universes sends out a love letter across time and space to the Great Emancipator. *wink and nod to Evil Spock*

10)Luscious Jackson - Why Do I Lie?

Ah, a nice mellow one to go out on. Enjoy your Friday!

Save the damn internet, you lazy mooks!

2007-07-06T22:06:00.000-05:00

Friday random ten

2007-07-06T03:36:00.000-05:00

Never mind the bullocks, here's the music:

1) The Go! Team - Huddle Formation.

Oh, awesome! I just reviewed this song in my previous post. I've probably played this at least 20 times since then...still love it.

2)Pavement - The Unseen Power of the Picket Fence.

Nothing gives you indie cred like ripping into the sacred cow of REM...this is off the excellent No Alternative cd.

3)The Black Crowes - Hotel Illness.

As a rule, I abhor southern rock (Skynrd, Allman Brothers, et al.), but I loves me them Black Crowes...must be all that weed they smoke.

4)Ben Folds Five - Selfless, Cold, and Composed.

Fancy song with strings and everything, I immediately like this song just by its virtue of not being 'Brick'...god I hate that song.

5)Rage Against the Machine - Bullet In The Head.

If the past six years have taught me anything, it's that RATM was just a few years ahead of its time.

6)Depeche Mode - Blasphemous Rumors.

Oh Lordy, is this a little embarrassing...from RATM to DM, you can't say that I don't have any range.

7)The Breeders - Dedicated.

This is actually a very good song off of what I feel is a very underappreciated album, Pacer.

8)Cake - Satan is My Motor.

Wow, another Cake song about cars...funny, they really don't seem like car guys.

9)Balloon Guy - Minding My P's and Q's.

This is another great (now defunct (I think)) Minneapolis band who, along with BFF and February, prove that there's more to this music scene than Wendy and Lisa and The Jets.

10)Helium - Skeleton.

This is a fun, and sorta creepy, group of fine young women out of LA, I believe...their cd's can be pretty uneven, but with flashes of greatness.

Wow, only two girl bands this time - that's got to be a record low for me.

My Three Downloads

2007-07-03T12:54:00.000-05:00

Does anyone remember the intro to the TV show "My Three Sons"? It's almost Popeye-esque, with the long arms progressing across the screen from the right and left like sliding doors, closing on the old credits and then re-opening to show the new ones. Well, I don't need to download that song because it's been running through my head for about the past hour and a half, which sucks.

Anyhoo, I recently downloaded 3 songs (I'm actually putting downloading from iTunes on a moratorium until I figure out the deal with the DRM-free music):

1. Huddle Formation - The Go! Team.

Raise your hand if you love jump rope chants as much as I do...now put your hands down, becuase there's no way you possibly could. This English song sounds like it combines one of the few American artforms (others being cartoons, jazz, and knuckleballs) with electronic music to the delight of people like me.

2. We Were Born The Mutants Again With Leafling - Of Montreal.

You know, I really don't care for this band. Not at all. I've tried to enjoy them on an artistic level, on an ironic level, on a campy level, on an indie-snob level, but I just really can't get into them - with the exception of this song...can't get enough of it.

3. I Hate Myself and I Want To Die - Nirvana.

I am a dedicated Nirvanaphile, but I'm also kinda cheap, so I haven't gotten the "With the Lights Out" box set yet. This song, which appeared on the Beavis and Butthead movie soundtrack, of all places, will have to do until I break down and shell out the bucks for the 3 CD set.

Well, that's it. No witty conclusion where I tie the disparate threads of this post together, no feel-good closure or life-affirming lessons - but I will leave you with a video for another Go! Team song (Junior Kickstart) that I hope you'll enjoy, so...Enjoy!

Thursday Random Ten

2007-06-28T11:35:00.001-05:00

There is nothing wrong with your computer screen. There is no need to update your lens prescription. This week, since the SSB family is going camping early tomorrow, the Friday Random Ten is taking place on Thursday, which, come to think of it, also happened last week. Whatever, that's just how we roll here at Music for Dumbasses (by the way, does anyone get that lazy little pun?).

1)Pearl Jam - Rearviewmirror.

One of the few songs I actually like off of Vs. This song does a good job of having music complement the lyrics...the tempo increases from fast to frantic, as if you're in a car desperately speeding away into oblivion. Or something like that.

2)Nirvana - Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle.

Let's keep it in the same locale and time frame, why not? Given Kurt's suicide, this song is just one of several fairly obvious "cries-for-help", along with such titles as "Negative Creep" and the highly cryptic "I Hate Myself and I Want To Die". Awesome song though.

3)White Stripes - We're Going To Be Friends.

What's not to like about this song? It's Sy and my song (replacing the highly outdated "I'll Stop the World and Melt With You" a few years ago), plus it was featured in the opening sequence of Napoleon Dynamite.

4)Tori Amos - Muhammad My Friend.

Off of the last of Tori's "Holy Trinity" (Little Eathquakes and Under the Pink being the other two). Amazing vintage Tori, with great crystal-clear production, you can actually hear her working the foot pedals on her Bosendorfer. Beautiful.

5)White Stripes - Dead Leaves on the Dirty Ground.

Man, there is little in this world that annoys me more than having a band more than once in an FRT. Oh well, I shouldn't hold that against Meg and Jack, because they are impressive as always.

6)Pixies - Is She Weird

Yes, she is, but to me, weird is a complement. Kim Deal's subtle touch takes this song from "good" to "plaque-good".

7)Limblifter - Vicious.

Anyone remember this mid '90's act? Well, one of the two brothers that formed this band went on to join indie darlings The New Pornographers.

8)PJ Harvey - Snake.

This is off of the Peel Sessions record released last year (I think it was last year). I like this version even better than the excellent original on "Rid of Me". It's got a great live feel to it, and better wailing.

9)Violent Femmes - Hey Nonny Nonny.
Best homage to "Sympathy for the Devil" since World Party's "Way Down Now".

10)Best Friends Forever - Eisenhower is the Father of the Interstate Highway System.

Anyone who has been paying attention to me the past few weeks knows of my undying love for these guys. The cheese is delicious, and belies the wonderful talent they have.

Better know a sellout: Natalie Merchant

2007-06-24T21:59:00.000-05:00

Way, way back in the day, when I was a naive schoolboy, I went to my first ever concert and saw 10,000 Maniacs. I was a little surprised at how mellow they were - with a name like 10,000 Maniacs, I was expecting something more Dead Kennedyesque - but overall I was very impressed and even went out and bought their In My Tribe cassette later that week. What I most liked about the band was the way that the musician's instruments intermingled with and accented her unique voice without trampling all over it.

Eventually, of course, she grew tired of sharing the spotlight (as though any of the spotlight was on her bandmates) and split from the group...at least they think she broke up with them. It was around that time that she lost the ability to enunciate altogether, and she uttered to them, "E nucit loppit ralther toe," and she never returned to band rehearsal.

Right after they did their awesome MTV Unplugged version of "Because the Night" , when they reached the peak of their indie cred and power, is when she chose to leave the band that helped her get to the top. Now, you can hear her shooting up the charts in dental offices and soccer-mom minivans across this white, white nation of ours. Way to be, Nat!

It's Friday...it's random...there are 10

2007-06-21T11:34:00.000-05:00

Let's get right to it, why not?

1)PJ Harvey - Highway 61 Revisited.

I really enjoy this Bob Dylan cover by Peej. She takes a classic song by a musical icon, put her own unique interpretation on it, and nailed it. I actually travel on Highway 61 on a fairly regular basis, and this version goes through my head whenever I do...sorry Bob.

2)Beck - Atmospheric Conditions.

The last song on his folksy "One Foot in the Grave" album, a fitting mellow, dreamy send off.

3)Foo Fighters - Low.

Hard to believe that the drummer for such an iconic band can accomplish so much on his own (take that Ringo!), unless you heard Dave Grohl sing "Marigold" back when was still with Nirvana and recognized his talent. Recognize, dammit!

4)Peter Gabriel - Stigmata.

From "The Last Temptation of Christ" album. Nice psuedo-Middle-Eastern flavor, and good to fall asleep to...but not in a bad way. My roommate in college introduced me to this album, which I am to this day grateful to him for. He also introduced me to "Catching Up with Depeche Mode", but you can't win 'em all. ::Shudder::

5)Bob Mould - Can't Fight It.

Ahhh...you can't go wrong with a little Bob Mould. And you can't go even wronger with Husker Du (Please excuse the absent umlauts).

6)10,000 Maniacs - Verdi Cries.

My favorite 10,000 Maniacs song. No, I'm not a sissy-boy, but thanks for asking. I have to go weep softly in the corner now.

7)Veruca Salt - Earthcrosser.

Last song on "Eight Arms to Hold You", their uneven but ultimately endearing (to me anyway) follow-up to the muy excellente "American Thighs". Louise Post rocks.

8)Weezer - The World Has Turned and Left Me Here.

The title is the first line - just like Emily Dickinson would do. I wonder if I'm the first person to compare the two? Great song, by the way.

9)Beastie Boys - Shadrach.

"Riddle me this, my brother"...great opening line. From the album that marked the transition from frat-rock to...well, something else, I'm not sure what.

10)Sleater-Kinney - Buy Her Candy.

Funny story about this song...it's more complicated than it sounds, apparently. Harder than "Surf Song", at any rate.

So...anyone can sit there and complain about how sucky my list is (which it totally is not!) - can you do any better?

"Good Night Springton...There Will Be No Oncores!"

2007-06-17T22:54:00.000-05:00

What I learned this past weekend:

Hippies, like the Amish, should not be entrusted with the task of setting up a sound-stage...

Sy and I went (with a couple of friends in tow) to the Bike-in-at the-Bell, which is an outdoor festival organized by people whom some might refer to as "biketards". Now, when I say organized, I'm using that word in its most liberal sense, and when I say liberal, I'm using that word as another way of saying clusterf*@%.

I arranged this whole outing in order to see my new favorite local band, Best Friends Forever, unseating my previous favorite local band, February, in the process...which is just as well, seeing as they've been defunct for about four years now.

The show opened with a trio called Ladyslipper. They played a few songs, five or six I think, before the singer announced, "We are Ladyslipper, and we have no power." We weren't sure if he meant that the power to the amps and stacks had gone out, or if this was just a general observation of the bands socio-political standing.

They (Ladyslipper) were competent enough; in fact, I was quite impressed with the drummer. I suppose the singer/guitarist was OK, but what I'll remember most about him isn't his hard-driving riffs or his gravelly voice, but the sight of him striking out while trying to arrange a three-way with a couple of girls in the crowd after his set had ended. Ouch!

Following Ladyslipper, a tap dancing trio called the Shim-Sham Shufflers took the stage. I have only one piece of advice for them: if tapdancing is your "thing", maybe you shouldn't have the music blaring so loudly that it drowns out any noise those little metal plate thingies on the soles of your shoes make. Put a microphone down on the floor of the stage or something, for goshsakes!

Finally, BFF took the stage. They opened up with a cover of a Steely Dan song:

Now I can't get that damn song out of my head. They were able to play three more songs before the power went out again, and that was all we got. Four songs. Man, that sucks. It was real fun while it lasted though...they had great stage banter and the least awkward crowd interaction I think I've ever experienced.

They're going out on tour now, and won't be back in my area until late August, so maybe I'll have to go see them again then. Check out their MySpace page for tour info...I guarantee a good time if you catch their show.*

*Not a guarantee.

Best Friends Forever

2007-06-07T18:17:00.000-05:00

I'm sure that many of my readers, by which I mean more than two, know that I have a soft spot for women musicians. Not the Jessica Simpson or Britney types...I much prefer talent and intelligence over looks. And being that I am a fervent believer in supporting local music, I would be remiss in whatever duties I imagine I might have if I didn't let all of my readers (by which I mean more than two) in on a wonderful Minneapolis band I've come across recently.

They're called Best Friends Forever, and they actually have been, in the parlance of the times, BFFs for over 12 years. Their music is simple, funny, and catchy as hell, but also with some depth to it. Do yourself a favor and check them out.

They have a show in Minneapolis on the 16th, and hopefully I'll be there.

Hmmm...seeing as this post is a little thin, hows about I leave you with one of my favorite videos ever:

Music For Dumbasses

YACHT for you!

Auto tune is the devil's voicebox

Alice In Wonderland? Must be a rip off of that "Alice In Underpants" movie I saw

11th Hour FRE

Cuz I'm a Cool Nerd God, yes I am!

Has it really been a month?

Yeah...I *do* happen to like Beethoven.

Friday Random Eleven - Too much 90's?

FRE - At Last!

Friday Random Eleven

Why so serious, son?

Shut your Wii hole, Chad!

Last Freakin' Minute FRE

Happy X-Mess!

AN ATHEIST OF SORTS

Yep, another damn BFF post

FRE - Bold New Adventures In Obsolescence and Futilty

What was that cool song I heard on that commercial?

The gayest FRE of the year

Return of the FRE, powered by Guinness

Democracy? In China? That'll never work...

And the day was not as dismal as it seemed it might be

Skal!

Today, I Voted...*

We have to protect the polar bears by making sure they're kept off the endangered speices list...

Friday Not-so-random Eleven

The Whom Now?

FRE - Why I like the South Park

It's Bjorking Bjorktastic!!!

Best Band Poster...EVER!

FRE (me from XP)

FRE –live blogging from the far dispatches of Detroit’s tentacles

No one's gay for Moleman :(

"Stimulus Package" sounds like English Pornography - FRE

Friday Random 1011

Noon whistles and rotary phones

FRE

Don't call it a comeback...

WTF is up with the serif-cursor?

Friday random ten feat. Words I Hate

I'm still alive...

Friday Random ten: They're tryin' to make me go to rehab, I said No, No...well, on second thought...

Your Mid-Writer's Strike Daily Show Fix

What's good for Fred Sanford is good for America

What is your issue?

Modest Yahoo

The Friday Random Ten

Hell is rotoscoped

Friday Random Ten

Radiohead's noble experiment

Friday random ten

Et tu, Hum?

Friday random 11

Friday random ten

You don't say.....

Ghost Friday random 10

I had no idea the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald was so recent...

the bright wool enhancements of yesterday's score

Friday random ten

"Meatloaf!?! My most dreaded of all loaves!"

Friday random ten

"Wasted away again in Margaritaville, looking for my lost shaker of salt....oh, here it is!"

"Three simple words: I. Am. Gay."

Beethoven v. Mozart: This time, it's personal!

Friday random 10

Icky Thump

Friday random X

Gogol Bordello

Friday not-so-random ten

Save the damn internet, you lazy mooks!

Friday random ten

My Three Downloads

Thursday Random Ten

Better know a sellout: Natalie Merchant

It's Friday...it's random...there are 10

"Good Night Springton...There Will Be No Oncores!"

Best Friends Forever

Yeah...I do happen to like Beethoven.